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Something’s not right

Life

Life

My lil boy is not well and it's times like this that I realise how alone we are. If I have to take him into the er I need to get my little girl up as well and try to manage one sleepy child and one sick child. Then the hospital gets grumpy because you can't have another child there but they can't make me leave because my lil boy has special needs and wouldn't let me go without him anyway . It's so hard to know what to do and how to manage everything on my own. And then there is so much else happening I don't feel safe to open the door and go out in the dark. This kind of living and hiding is so unfair on the kids. When is it ever going to get easier?!?

215 replies

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In response to: Life

Re: Life

Here's the thing - I haven't described the majority of the male population - just the boys who have been vocal about it and disrespectful. It could just be that when you were a young man in the company of young men, they were still very hormonally driven and not appreciating a woman for more than her body. Don't let guys who act like that make you feel like there's something wrong with you. It's ok to use pet names in a relationship, it can be ok to call genitalia the medical terms, the non-medical terms. It's ok to talk about it. 🙂 Have you heard of 'enthusiastic consent'?

In response to: Life

Re: Life

I'm a teacher but mainly I've worked in primary schools so I'm not sure about how things are handled in highschools at the moment but I know most teachers are very vigilant these days of those behaviours. In this region they've just introduced respectful relationship education right from junior primary through to the high schools which is great

In response to: Life

Re: Life

How is your mum @Jacques

In response to: Re: Life

Re: Life

Hi @CannonSalt, i see so many men, of all ages being so disrespectful of women, Men seem to speak differently about women when they are in an all male conversation, i have been in these conversations and men from all ages seem to like belittling women, yet they speak differently when in the company of women, i find it all very confusing.

I am ashamed to say this @CannonSalt, i have never kissed touched, held hands with or had any relationship with any girl, ever, i do not understand the mating rituals of the human species, and find it very awkward, when in a christian school sex and anything to do with relationships was deemed dirty and wrong, my parents drummed this same thought proccess into me when i was a teenager, so now i have a very warped sence of what a relationship is, i have only learned about them through books. everything o know about women, relationships and sex is all through books, and these forums.

I now know their is something wrong with me 😞 i so wish i was normal, i so wish i know how to be socially acceptable 😞

No i have not heard of the term "enthusiastic concent" but from books i have read i think i can imagine what it means 😕 i hope i have not crossed any lines guys, i am really struggling with this.

Thank you @Former-Member, mum is home and slowly recovering, looks like a bad reaction to some new medication.

It is interesting about the new classes in schools @Former-Member, it is good to see they are trying to change the mind set early on, change the mindset early on so i will be so interested to see studies of when these kids reach adult hood to see if it has made a difference.

I am so sorry @Former-Member, if i have brought up some triggering memories, it is just something mum keeps telling me, i can understand how it might feel like he is trying to make you feel good about yourself, i suppose it is a fine line betweem being interested and being controlling?

In response to: Re: Life

Re: Life

I'm glad to hear more about what the situation's like now, @Former-Member. 🙂

In response to: Re: Life

Re: Life

@Jacques - it's ok not to be 'normal'. If you got to know some of the people you think are 'normal', you might find that they're different too, just like you. (YES! WE ARE ALL INDIVIDUALS!)

When I was a kidlet, one of my friends had a puberty book - we would read passages aloud to each other and feel oh-so-grown-up. I could also ask my parents almost anything about the mechanics - less so about the emotions. If you're interested, a good sex education source is http://www.scarleteen.com/ - it's sex-positive and has been recommended by UNICEF and Planned Parenthood, it's American, so not everything will apply, but the broader themes will still be the same.

In response to: Life

Re: Life

No I'm ok Jacques I'm sorry it's triggering for you though. I think its pretty common to feel like there's some thing wrong with us but our anxiety keeps us thinking the exaggerated thoughts and making us so sure but in reality everyone is different

In response to: Re: Life

Re: Life

Hi @CannonSalt, i know we are all individuals, it is just everyone has so much life experiance, i am 33 and have none at all, it is so depressing, i feel like i am still a child, i have never bee nable to grow up, maybe this topic is a bit too full on for me 😞 as i am struggling, i might leave it for you smart women, i am so out of my depth.

@Former-Member, i hope you are managing, my thoughts are with you, i know things will be tough for you this Christmas, please try to focus on the new year and all of the good things that are going to happen for you.

Be kind to yourself everyone, sorry i am so ignorant and uneducated, i am so thankful to you all fopr being so open and honest, i have some insight as to what it is like for women.

Jacques

In response to: Re: Life

Re: Life

I really like your input @CannonSalt.

Sex and consensual adult relationships have the potential to be great. i dont know we hooomans make such a mess of it .. but its not just me lol

I was raised in a sexually repressive household but developed an open-minded approach to sex itself. it is all the other gender battle stuff that seems to get in the way. I like bonobos.

Once chid rearing is involved it gets even more complicated.

I am with @Jacques

I dont understand human mating rituals either ...

which is why I like an anthropologist like Robert Sapolski.

How are you @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Life

Re: Life

Hi @Jacques - I don't mean to make you feel worse about it. Sex and being in a relationship isn't proof of adulthood. Thanks for being so open and honest about your experience.
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