I have mental health but worried about my husband

Hi @Bubbles3

How are things for you at the moment?

Sorry I haven't been around much, combination of busy and things a little bumpy so not overly social atm,

Trust thing's are ok for you atm.

thats ok @Determined

so to hear things have been a bit bumpy.

im not doing to well myself.

me and hubby got in argument the other night because i was taking stuff that i shouldnt be taking (if im alowd to say @Former-Member if no, then please delete)

im having hard time ,pending my court date. im really getting scared about it. which is causing me to do things that i shouldnt be doing. iv got a lot going apart from that as well.

it just never ends

Dear @Bubbles3

My wife suffers from Complex PTSD and I hope I can help a bit with my prospective:

Up until over a year ago I had no clue what was going on with my wife. I was not capable to even begin to comprehend what mental illness really means. It is so difficult to understand an illness that can't be seen, touched or even fixed with a surgeon in hospital. This was my base line about mental illness until I suffered from mild depression. I learnt a lot of things that day.

I learnt that it is important to maintain self-care. Looking after yourself, what ever that means for you and your husband. I do Tai Chi, listen to classical music and read books that stimulate my mind and help with the kids and household.

I learnt that I am not as strong as I thought I would be in dealing with my wife's PTSD and that it is important to seek professional help when it gets tough. No shame in that at all !

I learnt that in order to help my wife and myself in return I need to educate myself on that subject.

I learnt that mental illness is as real as I am.

I learnt that intimacy exists emotional and physical. Physical intimacy may come to a hold due to various reasons, yet the emotional intimacy can still maintain, even deepen, your relationship.

I learnt that by keeping communication open with my wife I am able to be more helpful in her recovery.

I learnt that the verb " to quit " shows up on a daily bases and I fight it with everything I got, for I see in the good moments the wonderful wife I have. I remind myself as often as possible as to why I picked her.

Living with complex PTSD is.......complex and requires me to change and adjust. It is very difficult and hard work. But I know deep inside me, it is worth every bit.

Thanks to this forum I am not alone anymore and neither are you @Bubbles3 or your husband.

I wish you all the best !

Dear @Bubbles3,

The strongest personality appears when being at its weakest.

I can understand your husbands denial, yet his outburst is very regrettable. Without defending him, I do understand his position though. He is fighting a ghost, a ghost that is closing in on him. I once succumbed to this ghost. It nearly ended in self-harm just to feel something for a moment.

Mental illness is as contagious as a common cold can be. And its is a sneaky one. In order to combat and fight back your husband needs to accept that PTSD is real and not a fabrication of an excuse, but a valid explanation for what is happening to you right now. I developed mild depression from my status quo, mentally stressful work environment, a strange and frustrating relationship that I did not(..want to..) understand and the financial stress to earn enough money to keep it all afloat.

My life didn't go anywhere. Today I thank God for the mild depression and the near self-harm experience. I believe it was what I needed to experience to understand on a fundamental level what my wife is going through. When it comes to my relationship I found that in order to still feel loved by my wife I just need to feel her wanting to hold my hand, a little caress here and there, a goodnight kiss and a honest "I love you".

I wish your hubby could feel the world you are stuck in right now for a day. So he can deal with the real issues and therefore be part of your recovery and avoid the common cold.

Best wishes @Bubbles3

Hi @Bubbles3 just wanted to check in and see how things have been going for you....

Sorry I have been in hiding but have been thinking about you and your family and trust all is ok and looking more positive for you. Sorry if you have covered that in your other thread just haven't had a chance to catch up yet.