Worry Room - Get it out, and walk away: No responses please

I have @Former-Member

not an email though -- but I hav replied on the thread that you are talking about xx

Hi @Former-Member, thank you for your concerns. It has been followed up at this stage

Some donkey honked their horn at me while I was waiting for a big-enough break in incoming traffic to turn right. I was on a bloody bicycle. It takes longer to go from stop to start than a car, numbskull. Heaven forbid you get to work 30 seconds later just so that I don't have to worry about whether or not I'll be plowed through by a car at 70kph.

Try to post messages of concern and care for others … eaten/vanished/disappeared. Forum buses. NDIS buses. Housing buses. Buses of every variety. Loud and clear, universe. I do not matter. Don’t worry, I get it.

* This is a no response thread. Please respect that I posted here for a reason.

I was dumped by a friend by text message the other day. At least I took it as a kind of dumping. She very resolutely said she had no time to connect with me. No kisses and hugs as usual. Just the bald statement of her closing down on me.

That was okay, though a bit of a downer. We haven't been close but have known each other through various shared activities and cafe get togethers over a couple of years. I wasn't really surprised, as we have very different views on things, and she is very religious while I am against religion. But I was willing to overlook differences and keep meeting from time to time, as I value the person more than the outward details of them. In any case, I accepted her apparent decision to remove me from her life and carried on okay.

But this morning I got another message from her saying she was sorry and the lines of communication were open once again. She has bipolar too, so my first question was whether she was okay. Easy to overlook a glitch like this if it was down to the vagaries of mental illness. But no, she said she was okay, just giving people she'd closed off from a chance to reconnect. Three days after the first message closing me off? For a moment I thought we were 15 years old, instead of middle aged, the pair of us.

For some reason this actually brought up anger in me for the first time. Since the lines of communication were now open, I wrote back to her and told her where I saw difficulties in our friendship. Namely that I am against religion but every conversation with her has religion as a central theme. Then nothing. No text back from her. Just silence.

The first round of rejection I forgive. The second round, no, at least not at this stage.

Petty nonsense it all seems to me. But I feel like she's put me through a rollercoaster of emotion in a really unnecessary way. I think all of us have experienced friendships drifting away. I prefer it that way because then you can see each other on the street and at least be civil, in deference to a friendship that once was.

But this deliberate confrontation of me has pissed me off and left me with a sour taste in my mouth towards her.

No wonder you feel that way @Mazarita. She sounds like a very difficult person to trust and not very 'authentic' to me. Not fair to give you such major contradictory messages in such a short period of time. I'd be p'd off too. Once bitten, forever shy. Glad you could talk about it here. Hope you feel you can rely on your close friends here. Even if not IRL, as we say, the friendships here are real I feel. Hugs from me xx

Thanks, @eth. This woman has a pattern of discarding people in this way, then trying to reconnect later. I know this through a mutual friend who has known her for much longer than me. They have broken up and got back together as friends many times over. I texted this other friend after my post and she rang me back. She told me the dumping friend is probably unwell, though she is not likely to admit that's what's going on. That makes me feel more compassionate towards her erratic behaviour actually. On my way to forgiveness as we speak. Thank you for your support. Your friendship and consistent support here means a lot to me, as you know. Hugs.

No response required, thanks.

Haven't been feeling well for a while, so maybe this is affecting my mental health and relationships with people.

Just saying, someone I know has a very high IQ but is sadly lacking in the empathy/compassion/feeling department. This person is logical and is great company if I want to bounce ideas around and want a second opinion. This person seems to blame the system and other people for anything bad that has happened to him throughout his life. He can be arrogant and vindictive but I think he's very insecure, and this is a way for him to hurt others before anyone hurts him. I feel that by blaming others for the life he lives, and not having had a relationship for some years, he can justify not doing anything to help himself. It seems to me that other people are expected to change his life for him. He doesn't accept responsibility. He constantly seeks approval, even if that means ignoring other people and their feelings. His character traits are those of a narcissist. I see red flags everywhere. However he is good company for a few hours a week.