Worry Room - Get it out, and walk away: No responses please

That's got to be hard @Adge I admire your strength and also feel for you.

Having children is a truly beautiful experience, but a lot of the time now so many adult children forget about their parents, either because they are too busy, totally absorbed in their own families or life, perhaps live a long way away or estranged themselves for whatever reason. And it can be so painful. Having children isn't always what it's made out to be.

I do understand though how you would feel left out. I feel not only that way now after losing mine but it also causes much pain to hear others talk about their children/grandchildren etc when out socially. A lot more couples are choosing not to have children these days and to be honest, although I wish my children much happiness, I wish I never had children and pursued my career instead. They hurt me so much. You are not alone. Hugs xx

I worry about my mental health issues and wonder if I will ever find inner peace. I worry that my psychologist will give up on me, thinking that my issues are too complex and that I don't trust her. I worry that the self-soothe strategies I have built up will disappear one by one and my anxiety will destroy me. I worry that my support people at work and on the 24/7 counselling line that I use will abandon me as my issues are sounding like a broken record. I worry about losing my job and becoming homeless. I worry about being abused again. I worry that I will never give up drinking. Despite feeling so bad, and knowing how bad it is for my health, I drink as a means of coping because I'm too scared to stop and move forward

in a positive manner. I worry that I'll never get the house paid off. I worry about my husband's health. I worry that I am so scared all the time. I worry about the unhelpful thoughts that keep going round and round in my head. I worry that one day I will want to end things because the struggle to keep living has worn me down.

Apologies for this being so messy but I have no idea what a spoiler alert is and I've hit the wrong button by mistake.

Hello @NatalieS NatalieS,

This is Ground1 the moderator for today. It's great that you have the opportunity to express yourself in this thread. You had alot of worries and letting them go here is a great strategy. I'm concerned that you have written about suicide in the future. I hope that you have medical and social supports around you at the moment. Have you though about calling a helpline (Lifeline 131114) or chekcing in with a doctor?

Warm regards Ground1

Hi @Adge

Yes, children when they are young and innocent bring me alive too.

No, your sharing didn't bring up issues, I am hurting anyway. It was my way of trying to help. Now I am just venting in the worry room as I am in the midst of a traumatic event at home. Once again. I am grieving.

I know what you mean about parenting bringing out the nurturing side of us - I gave all my love. That's why it hurts so bad. But I have found helping others equally as rewarding, more so as there is no obligation to do so and the inner growth is wonderfully fulfilling. It would of been nice to have both but that's just life for me now.

You may find working with children very rewarding and helpful to fulfill that nurturing growth. There are unfortunately many neglected children out there whom would love you forever for it.

It's grief that clouds everything for me now and worry over my daughter's future, and I just have to find my way out of it somehow like anyone else who has loved and lost, or struck tragedy.

Its not just loss - it's losing a child to drugs and a life of crime, whom was raised to have respect and values. What a slap in the face to that love, values of respect for self and others and guidance. It's feels like all those years of good parenting and love was a waste. Soul destroying experience for a parent to witness that innocent angel turn self destructive, and lose themselves so badly. That's the painful part.

And if someone told me that was to happen to me and my daughter years ago I would of laughed. That only happened to families who neglected their child or were drug abusers etc themselves. That would never happen to us. My daughter whom was so well respected and successful in her young life. But I find now one can never judge as it's never that black or white. She had free will and made poor life choices.

There are plenty of people out there who need our love and help @Adge, and there is much we can offer to the world and be just as fulfilled childless and all. 💕

Hi Ground1, thanks for listening. I do have lots of support, including a great psychologist and very caring people at work. I have a 24/7 counselling line that I can contact. It's just that when I'm feeling insecure the worrying escalates. The last few days have been every emotional and I have been very weepy at times. Sometimes I just can't articulate to these people what's going on in my head or my life...I try, but sometimes give up in frustration. I don't think I would ever hurt myself-I'm sure I would reach out for help or phone someone if I was thinking along those lines-but a person's mental health can be so fragile and who can tell what's going on in someone else's head? I never meant to worry anyone, I was just venting, like when I start asking the "what if...?" questions. Thanks for responding.

Thank @Former-Member

My daughter is 21 yrs old. Was in an abusive relationship for a year that we finally helped her to escape from. It was a DV situation and she also lost a child to him by miscarriage. She made a serious attempt on her life last year as a result. Her self esteem is also very low as a result.

She tries to go back on the straight and narrow but the company she keeps leads her astray again as she is ver easily led. Would love her to find someone who could protect her and care enough to help her break away from this bad lifestyle choice.

She doesn't realise how much she hurts us and she does love us realising how much we have done for her and are always there. Just hope she wakes up before it's too late. Thanks for asking 😊

@Adge - you would make a wonderful mother. I do hope you can find that special one to bring this dream to reality 💕