Worry Room - Get it out, and walk away: No responses please

Hello @oceangirl

My husband is supportive but when grief sets in nothing suffices. I plan to seek support through grief, loss,separation and adjustment therapy. I probably should of done it long ago. I am starting to exhaust my own strength. I just hope I find someone good. I have a friend I could talk to but she's ill and so I wouldn't put any further stress on her.

We finally purchased our house on the beach and it should be built in 18 mths time. Our daughter being over 22 then will have to look for her own place as we can't take the stress of what she is putting us through anymore. I worry she won't be able to stand on her own two feet mentally or financially, but this situation just can't go on. I worry for her and worry whatbthe resulting grief of yet another loss will do to me.

How are you now my friend?

Hi again @Former-Member

I think that type of therapy mite be good for me too. I am glad to hear you have your husband for support, I think your friend mite want to help you too. I know if my friend was struggling I would want to help them.

I am so happy for you that you have purchased your dream land and your house will be built in the next 18 months. I truly hope your daughter is able to find her way and is able to stand on her own two feet, I can understand your stress and worry you must be under.

Is there any programs your daughter could do long term where she could stay and to help her. But more importantly to get her more stable and functioning so that she can start to succeed in life.

I am bit up and down atm but I am getting there- my anxiety surfaced again- I am having some testing done atm. When these results are in- I will come up with a plan with my specialist. I am going to Hawaii in just over two weeks time.

I was volunteering today and I did really well.

OG

PS How do you think you can take care of you??

PSS Have you tried the smiling mind app??

Thanks @oceangirl

My daughter wouldn't listen to anything we suggested - I have suggested therapy, programmes in the past. All too expensive for her I think - she would rather spend it on others things like drugs. She needs to really help herself and make something of her life before it is too late. We are at a loss of what to do anymore and that sense of helplessness can led to depression in us. She needs to open her eyes.

She isn't talking to me at the moment because I won't meet her boyfriend. I have to,d her in the past I won't do this u til the relationship is steady and serious, as she goes from one to the other. And he is a drug abuser too. No thanks. She knows our values.

So it would seem I have lost my only remaining child. And will have to grow alone childless. So to help myself I think I will have to not be afraid of this but learn how to adapt, becoming more involved with volunteering and nurturing friendships. And to seek help for the grief that is bound to bombard me once again. My life has been 85 percent grief. My last remaining dream is for that balance in life - no more grief, but that is against the odds. Maybe she will come around and come back to us some day. I just hope we know where she is when she does move. As when someone you love goes missing the mental anguish and torment is agony. I am not looking forward to that. One day at a time.

I went for a day out with friends to play bingo and had some fun, so that was good. I will be starting my volunteering again in a few weeks and will push myself to do it as it helps. I went to visit at my the shop I volunteered in and was greeted with smiles and hugs from staff. That felt real good. I need that. I need them.

I am glad you are still gaining so much from volunteering 😊 I always though you would and also that you would do well. You have come along way. I haven't seen the smiling appt - I will try it. But when that grief hits boy - I think I will need more. Presently I am fairly determined that this time round I won't let it destroy me or destroy my purpose for being here. I need to focus on the latter - that helps me through the dark night. One foot in front of the other and perhaps lean on others gently along the way when it gets tough. I can't have another breakdown but I am vulnerable to it because of past grief and abuses. So I suppose I am scared but will work on building that inner strength and that which saves me each time -faith. (Ofcourse also my hubby, I wouldn't be able to do it without his love).

Woo hoo! Hawaii, you lucky lady. One of the most beautiful places on earth (not to mention the best shopping on earth 😊). Have a ball my friend!! Lots of love OTE ❤️Xx

I am so sorry @Former-Member . I truly do feel for you, I am glad you have other areas in your life. I hope you can find peace in your life and do the things that make you happy. I have not long got home from my exercise physiology appointment and I have another one on Thursday.Tomorrow I have a couple of medical appointments.

Its great to hear you went out today with friends and had some fun and good company. Those interations will help you so much, I think you know what I mean. Its nice when people are geniuely happy to see us, when I went for my EP session, the young girl there was really happy to see me today, I have known her for ages- it just makes you feel good.

I am enjoying my volunteering and take pride in my work and making sure my appearance is really good when I am there- not that my appearance is not good at other times, I just make a bit more of an effort. I think that is good for my confidence and self esteem.

I have had fairly busy day- I mowed the lawns and weeded garden, washed trouble and walked her for 1 hour, payed bills and I had a EP session. I think, even though I thought I was struggling, I am not doing too bad.

I am really looking forward to Hawaii- I am glad I got the lawns done today and the weeding.Next job is the car and then I will start to pack. I am not packing much and will buy new clothes over there- and items I can't get here. But I am more looking forward to the beach and spending time with my lovely aunt and uncle from San Fran.

@Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope

I don't want to deal with tomorrow

@Former-Member@Sans911I can really relate to that too.

I'm close to 50 myself. I've always wanted to have children myself, but things just didn't work out that way.

Nearly everyone I know is in a long-term relationship & has children.

I feel like life has passed me by. I've lived on the other side of Australia (WA) from all my relatives for 22 years, for good reason (but painful).

So I don't have any face to face family connections to fall back on, mostly just occasional phone contact.

Adge