Worry Room - Get it out, and walk away: No responses please

Thinking of you @Former-Member

Hearing you too @Former-Member

Too hard, just to keep on going. I don't want to do it anymore.

I've been thinking & feeling that a lot more lately. I keep on going, but it just doesn't seem worth the effort.

So tired, always so tired.

Adge

I am concerned that I am beginning to relapse. Just stayed in bed all day which is out of character for me. My husband is really worried. The mental torment of what my daughter is putting me through plus, I have realised, unresolved "complex grief". This time I can't do it on my own strength. This time I am seeking grief, loss, separation and adjustment therapy. Long overdue.

She was away for two nights without telling us where she was. She is not contactable by phone etc. With her lifestyle habits I wait for "the phone call". Or worse, she becomes a missing person. The mental torment of that is like no other pain I have ever known. I did t sleep much and can't get out of bed. Just cried all day. This is too hard.

If she stays she traumatises us. If she goes grief will also consume. I need help. I have never really had a break to heal probably. I coped very well last year when I found her just after her serious suicide attempt. I live with knowing this could happen any time now again. And I think I have just been strong for too long..,I am tired. Although I believe somewhere down the line there will be a way out I can't see it now. And despair is knocking at my door.

For years when I had an episode I would mask it with medications or, in the early day, alcohol . Never really addressed the triggers, the cause. And constantly being triggered again, the cycle continues. My daughter is about to loss her job, car and everything she owns because she is out of reality. We try to intervene with relevant authorities and creditors to help and she will not co operate. We can't fix this. Now I have to fix me. As I am coming undone. Why can't I just let go? Why? Constant grief is turning into major depression. And robs me of life.

I know I suffer what they call complex grief with resulting depression. I have never had the peace o the chance/break from this over 7 years to heal - no matter what I do. I finally secured our dream home but the grief is clouding all that and I don't have the strength to even think about it. Does it ever end. It's agony

I hear you @Former-Member. Do what you need to do for you - perhaps you need a holiday too. What plan do you have in place for you and what supports do you have? I am here if you need to talk.