Worry Room - Get it out, and walk away: No responses please

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@mohill wrote:

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@Adge wrote:
I've been really dissociated all today (Anzac day public holiday).

And last weekend & the previous weekend.

I've been doing my best to self-care - although very foggy minded & feeling not at all functional most of the time.

It's being alone at home that does it.

I've been trying so hard to get present & ground myself. Unfortunately nothing ever seems to work very well or for very long.

I so want to make meaningful use of my free time when not working (at home).

Its so frustrating & disillusioning sometimes.

Adge

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Hello @Adge

has something happened? I get like that when I isolate myself. Walking and observing surroundings animals nature helps me I have been feeling self loathing strongly today very flat hope you can beat it

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I hope you don't mind me saying this @Adge@Former-Member - staying at home alone too long does do this. I totally agree. I am finding this myself. Thought I would give myself some time out from my normal out of home jobs and activities to heal (been under tremendous stress) but all I have found is the same - it's made me somewhat dysfunctional, foggy minded and quite depressed, feeling lonelier in my emotional pain. We are meant to be out there in the most productive way, even when we feel we can't cope with it (I was feeling like that). Now I am emotionally worse - so will be forcing myself back out. Hope you both feel better soon.

Thinking of you @Former-Member 💕 It's pains me to think you are self loathing. I have gotten to know you over time through your posts and you are a beautiful person - a person anyone would be lucky to have in their lives. Please never doubt this as it's true. Hugs to you both 🌹

So many melancholy muffins today, feel for you guys. Being home alone too many days in a row spaces me out too - floating dissociative detachment. Don't think we're meant to be alone. I go to the grocery store or coffee shop just to break it up a little some days. But when the chips are down maybe we need to keep working at being more at peace in our own skin most the time. Well, that's what i'm working on. We do have each other. @Former-Member - you give so much in your posts, no wonder you feel hurt when its not reciprocated - don't give up 🙂

Hello @Adge @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Former-Member

I responded with an essay so have deleted it. This is not a thread for my lengthy posts.

Thank you all.

Yes isolating ourselves is a part of the illness and that very act exacerbates the illness further.

am ejecting myself out into the fresh air, sun and wind. I shall go and talk to the animals.

take care all xxxxxx

The esssay was fine @Former-Member - read it in my emails. I too am withdrawing because of the concerns and pressures of living with my highly destructive mentally ill daughter whom is literally making our lives miserable and having a great toll on our health (that's my personal worry vented). But am also finding by staying home I am losing me, my fervour for life. That's soul destroying and I am going to fight against it. It's hard @Adge when social connections are scarce. So glad that you are connecting on here. Hope all have a good day.

In less than five hours, I'm going to be sitting in a room with a bunch of people I barely know. I somehow got myself elected to a committee of consumers and carers. I signed a confidentiality agreement, so I can't say too much about it. However, suffice to say that after only two meetings, I can see that this is a tokinistic role. This committee actually has no real power to effect any real change - the powers that be just want to be able to say that they consulted with consumers and carers. However, I super want to stick with it because I figure it will give me a chance to practice my social skills and my distress tolerance skills. I figure it might also lead to other, more meaningful, opportunities.

So...my plan is that I'm going to leave home early so that I can go and spend some time in a calm quiet spot that I super like near where the meeting is. I'm going to practice my slow breathing and keeping my body posture relaxed in order to trick my brain into producing calm chemicals instead of stress chemicals. Then I'm going to keep practicing those skills during the actual meeting. If I start getting angry or frustrated feelings, I'm going to remind myself that I KNOW this particular committee isn't empowering, but that that's not why I'm there - I'm there to practice skills that I can then use when another, more meaningful, opportunity comes along.

This meeting is not going to be fun, but I'm choosing to go anyway because I think it is of personal value to me. It's only two hours once a month for goodness sake. Even Phoenix_Rising can suck it up and deal with uncomfortable feelings for two hours a month. It's character building! Yep, I've got this. I don't HAVE to go. I am free to quit this committee any time I want to. I CHOOSE to go for the purely selfish reason of what I can get out of it. Yep, I've definitely got this.

I don't want anyone to respond to this post. If I wanted a response, I would not have posted here in the worry room. I just wanted to share my upcoming adventure so that I don't feel so alone. I want to be able to picture @CheerBear @Spookytookims @Former-Member @CherryBomb @TheVorticon @Adge et al. sitting there with me as I deal with uncomfortable feelings.

@Former-Member@Former-MemberThanks for sharing, & for your support.

I'm thinking of you.

@Phoenix_RisingI'm sitting with you.

Adge