Worry Room - Get it out, and walk away: No responses please

Hi @Adge if or when you have to ring them again ask them where you take this unfair service to, so sorry for you, I could not be so cool about it so sorry you going through this crap. ☹️

I worry about son2. His obsession with guns. His belief that he and the rest of the family are dragon like creatures in other words not human. Where is this headed? I have so many fears ....

Visiting

Feel bereft for not being here offering support..

I have come to know many and form a bond I hope with at least some...It is paramount for me that I spend time in the real world more often now

as since being a little girl I did not..(day dreamed..dissociated)

I feel for so many of you and have corresponded with several..many..

I realise that possibly most of you will not even read this...which leaves me so very sad...

I want to let everyone know...

sad is so extremely different to depressed...

I will never ever combine the two..

I have been in and out of the dire d...

swinging between the d and the a and the t

the a for anxiety and t for trauma

I still struggle using the word trauma in relation to myself even though I have had so much pile up within such a limited time frame. If said experiences occurred so further apart trauma would most likely not have increased...

That is the thing with trauma..

Society believes that it is too easily applied.

Experiencing extreme trauma stands alone..

Add on further episodes of traumatising situations...If no time in between allowed to acknowledge and deal with trauma...trauma then intensifies..

This continues..

Similar to a pile of hay.,

Keep on adding more hay...no matter how light or minimal the load becomes...the pile is heavier..

Hence the same with trauma...

what might not affect another so intensely...someone with current unresolved trauma...every slight incident intensifies the existing unresolved trauma.

Deep.....

Yes...

True...

Definitely...

Tis me...

I want to reply to each and everyone of you with whom I have corresponded.

I am just not able at the moment to read your posts.

This does not mean that they are diminished in anyway.

I do hope that those of you who have corresponded with me more will realise..

I sincerely miss those of you who have been in my life on here.

I will send a few messages to those who might not visit this area and I need to let them know that I am still there for them even when absent yet again.

Lastly I feel as though this is starting to sound like something written by a person of huge importance..

Not in the least..

I am me...

That is it..

I just cannot be here at the moment and have been told to put myself first...first as in most important..

hard to digest..

many will understand and agree..,

however have been given the hard word..

All of you who know me...you are not forgotten...thought any less of..you are valued the same..

enough..

I could write forever..

Sophia

A shock.

I was recalled for a Dr’s Appnt very quickly (in less than 2 days) for Blood Test Results.

The Blood Tests were to determine cause of sudden dramatic weight loss - When I was already at my minimum weight (before) loss.

Which has coincided with my 4 weeks in this new Job - 10 to 16 hour long work shifts.

The Blood Test showed very Low Iron levels - Approaching Anaemic.

The Bowel Screening Test showed Blood loss.

Dr has Referred me for a Colonoscopy – Which may have a 6 month wait (or more) for Public Hospital - When Dr said this is urgent.

Colonoscopy is to find out why I have internal blood loss.

I have had a Colonoscopy done many years ago - With no associated underlying conditions.

This time is very different.

I am very familiar with the wait times for these procedures.

I have felt so weak & wobbly after working these 10 hour (5.00am Start) Work Shifts - That it is taking me 2 or 3 days after (with no work) to partly recover.

Now I know one possible cause, or reason why.

If the Iron Tablets do not work - Then Dr will have to give me a Transfusion (he said).

I've had that at least once before too - Yet this time is quite different.

Adge

@Sophia1 beautiful lady

I’ve been seeing my psychologist for 8 years. This year things have changed somehow and I’ve realised recently that I’m scared of her. (I’ve always been scared around therapy, but never scared of her.) I finally told her today and while I wasn’t attacked as I’d expected, it wasn’t really dealt with in the appointment. She sounded civil but angry, and said she would reflect on what I’d said. I’m pretty sure I’m about to be put in the too-hard basket. Aside from losing the only support I have, not having a clinical psychologist will also potentially jeopardise my DSP and NDIS funding. I feel so sick. I really like my psychologist. She’s a good person. When I see her in person I drive up to a 6-hour round trip weekly. I wish I knew what I’d done to mess things up. I wish I’d kept my mouth shut. I'm worried I've upset her by being honest about how I feel. I’m so scared and so sad. 😔

getting pressure from support workers to have son2 put in a care home..... I just dont know ...... feel like he will think we are deserting him .... I just dont know.

for my daughter

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hzrDeceEKc&list=RDMM&index=3

Do you ever wish that you could just be happy. That you could just switch off the pain and make it disappear forever.
make the noise inside your head be quiet just so you can get a rest from it.

but painfully it all remains the same.
only the end will make it stop