Worry Room - Get it out, and walk away: No responses please

....continued from previous post....

My first reaction was that I couldn't afford to leave, and that I have 7 years before I could even apply for the aged pension. But then I asked the EL if she could obtain all the financial and procedural information so I could consider my position, and think long and hard about what would suit me. Once I have all this information I would then have a month to decide. As the day progressed my thoughts were not all doom and gloom. When I sit down with my friend this afternoon to discuss all this (my husband is too sick to bounce this off) the positives would be: no getting up super-early each day, no going to work in the cold and dark hours of winter (which is a big plus for me), savings on bus tickets and lunches and coffees and things that I don't really need. I would learn to budget and economise. If I choose to stay at work it would be a scheduled, fast-paced environment, and I wouldn't have any control over my work day. And my health needs to improve, not get worse, so time will tell. More later.

Sorry to learn @NatalieS of your troubles and hope things work out for you. I don't know what I've done as I see myself as a fairly good person. This week I've got to have a CAT/scan for persistent tummy troubles and wonder if all is right in this area. Cancer comes to mind but I must not look on the dark side as things may turn out to be okay. I try to keep busy and having a spiritual side in my beliefs, I can only put my life into providence. If you are a spiritual person, it would be great to have your prayers. With best wishes - Bimby2

I can't seem to do anything right these days. cannot even ..... it properly. My irritability is so high that I am trying to distance myself from everyone. I am so annoyed at myself, I don't want this anymore.

Is it my unrealistic expectations, or do I always seem to attract people who don't treat me right? And it's worse when I am low, vunerable and feeling overly sensitive. Like today.

People have treated me rudely, unfairly and like they couldn't care less about me. I feel invisible and small. I have crawled under the covers of my bed, cried stupid tears. I am not coming out again today.

@Sans911

It is most definitely not you...

IT IS THEM

I am treated exactly the same...have to be assertive all of the time..

I sometimes wonder if it is my aura that leaves me vulnerable....our empathy side sans

sheets over the head works for me too...my teddy is with me more often than not..

do you have something to hug? Pet?

Sending you warmth...hugs...tender feelings...holding you very lightly..not wanting to intrude..

💚🌷💚

Dear @Bimby2

I know I'm not supposed to be replying here, but....

Yes, you have my prayers...I am learning to rediscover God/the Creator/whatever power it is that is greater than all of us again. Good luck with the CAT/scan this week. Thinking of you.

I am fed-up with a work system & management that actively encourages staff to "spy on each other", when working in the community.

To report back even the tiniest misdemeanours, or to make them up (invent them).

Then they're congratulated for being nasty & for questioning other people's performance - when it's actually none of their business (to do that).

They're far too busy bad-mouthing other people (co-workers), to even do their own job. Oh, plus they blow their own trumpet, & say what a good job they're doing.

Being constantly rude (in person), arrogant, & disrespectful to co-workers is Not doing a good job - their behaviour is atrocious. Yet they're not reprimanded for that.

This system is enormously stressful, virtually impossible to work under, or even to survive each day - for unpredtably low erratic working hours, & a poverty-line wage (not enough to pay bills).

I'm too old & too gentle & respectful (usually) to want to put up with this utter .... behaviour & attitudes.

Enough is enough - I can't even leave it behind me in my own time, when I'm at home. The stress & fear stays with me in the evenings, & through the entire weekend.

Adge

My redundancy paperwork came through today and it's a mixed bag of feelings for me. I think a couple of days after I was told I was being offered a redundancy, I'd already decided I would accept the offer. I'm physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted. Hubby's health is getting so much worse, my health issues are wearing me down, and I want to have some time doing some of the small things I want to do. Sure, I'll look for part-time work, although I am realistic that at my age the chances of snagging something are pretty slim. I won't be sitting on my hands though, there's plenty of volunteer work out there, and I've done alot of that in the past. I need people and I need my mental health. If I stay on at work, there is always the fear that I can be dismissed later on without the benefits of a small payout. Also, I could be shifted to other areas that would be detrimental to the good head space that I'm in. My mental health is soooo precious. I don't have bitter feelings towards management as the working environment has changed so much in the 18 years I've been with the organisation. Also, I would be leaving on good terms with everyone, which is also a benefit to my mental health. Andrew and I have discussed my potential redundancy-he is a great help to bounce ideas off as hubby is too sick and his thought processes aren't the best-and he has shared insights about surviving cheaply (or more cheaply than I do now) with me that I never would have considered before. I think I'll need a few weeks after I leave work just to rest and process things and just be before seriously considering my future options. Scared? yes. Excited? yes. I think this will be interesting times for me.