I feel...

hmm that is a bit tricky then esp if your struggling and need help with a question like you are @Queenie hopefully you get some answers soon. putting it away for now and revisiting another time sounds like a good idea.

I asked the teacher twice today and twice she ignored me. 😞 She seems more interested in the Mrs and her needs than mine.

I shut myself away as soon as I came home from college and I am still shut away. I am on the verge of giving up on the course, which would mean about 10 grand down the drain. I shut myself away when I got home so others wouldn't see me cry and to rest my mixed up brain mush mind. I'm still in two minds though... if I give up this course it'll be yet another thing I've run away from, yet on the flipside, what's the point in asking for help if you just get constantly ignored? I'm in need of serious help with my studies. There are no catch-up tutorials for 3 weeks now. We started a new subject today which means I am further behind than ever.

I want to swear, I want to throw things, I want to do a lot of possibly negative things. I don't care right now. All day I've had voices talking to me, I'm emotionally and physically exhausted. I was forced to divulge the details of my MI today to the class because I was asked. I didn't feel comfortable with it but what can you do?

wow @Queenie how rude of her!

can you ask your mrs for help? or another teacher?

I wish I could ask another teacher @outlander, but there is only one employed to teach our course at this college. I ended up asking my Mrs for help and she said "just type it into Google and see what comes up". I have already done this and became more confused than ever because I didn't know which were reputable sources and which were just hearsay. I'm lost.

I've also been thinking of going back to therapy to discuss and unpack my stupid voices. They were behaving but after my panic attack, they're not now. I'm supposed to be doing a subject at college now where we have to use active listening skills, but how is that possible when I am hearing a whole lot of derogatory stuff others can't hear?

I see my psychiatrist on the 14th and I desperately wanted to be okay by then, but let's face it, I'm still broken. He'll just take notes and probably write out some stuff for the NDIA and that will be it.

thats not very helpful @Queenie form either of them. its unfortunate we cant help you here!

um what about the library? or see if theres a uni mentor?

i think going back to therapy would be a good idea to help wiht your concerns, stresses and coping with your voices besides blasting music

i dont think your broken i think your struggling and seems no one is helping you atm

how did you go today @Queenie

I had to excuse myself at one stage @outlander due to anxiety.

This is a private college so limited facilities. There is no library as such. There are no student mentors either. There is a Facebook group I have joined for my particular area of study, but it has very few posting on it and it isn't well staffed. I put a post up on it and it's barely had any views at all.

I ended up just submitted what I know is the wrong answer for one of my assessments. Every day since I pressed submit, I worry about it (almost to the point of panic).

I saw my GP today to discuss my anxiety. She just acted like I was fishing for pharmaceuticals or something. I hate taking medications. I literally have to drink so much water just to get them down, so I don't know where she got that idea. She didn't offer me anything and I felt like I was wasting her time. I've been trying to breathe through panic attacks, as I know they don't last forever.

I guess one positive thing to come out of my anxiety, I am eating far less due to nausea constantly.

I bought myself some ginger and chamomile tea @outlander during grocery shopping today. I am going to give it a go. Thanks for the tip! 🙂

I've been hit with a huge load of apathy. I know being apathetic is part of my negative symptoms, but basically, I just have stopped caring about myself.

i hope it helps @Queenie they are abit strong for me butothers have tried them with success. id be interested to hear how you get on with it.

i havent stopped caring about you i think the stressers are getting to you too