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I feel...

QueenieSenior Contributor25 Sept 2017, 10:10 pm AEST

I feel...

I feel desperately lonely yet, I feel like I don't belong anywhere. I don't belong in the 'Normal' world because I am tarred with the brush of mental ill health, yet because I've sort of stabilised now, I don't belong with my former peers either. I feel beige, uncoloured and boring with no emotion really even though if I had to say anything it is gutted. I feel trapped in a world I don't want and didn't ask for, yet whenever I try and break the shackles of failure, I am thrust back into the dark and reminded yet again of my failures (my Father is a constant person to remind me). I feel alone, even in a crowded room. I feel unheard, even if I am screaming loudly.

I guess I am just searching for something and not sure what.

Does anyone else feel beige?

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In response to: I feel...

QueenieSenior Contributor26 Feb 2018, 8:58 pm AEDT

Re: I feel...

I'm really anxious tonight. I don't know why. I think it is besides doing 6hrs non-stop of study today, I am further behind than ever. I have worked harder than ever before, but have missed my submission dates. I've never done this before (missed a submission date). I am scared!

In response to: Re: I feel...

QueenieSenior Contributor26 Feb 2018, 9:58 pm AEDT

Re: I feel...

Class isn't on tomorrow but it is a tutorial session for those who are struggling with their assessments. Both me and the Mrs are struggling, but she won't go in, no matter how much I plead. The college is in another town, so I have no way of getting there without her. I feel she is being really unfair. I feel like crying. Am I being stupid? I am really scared!!

In response to: Re: I feel...

Unknown userMember26 Feb 2018, 10:03 pm AEDT

Re: I feel...

Hi @Queenie
Sorry to hear that the anxiety is high but well done on the study! That is a huge effort! Can you get in touch with your lecturer about the submissions and what you can do? There might be a way to catch up still. Can you email or phone instead of going in? I dot feel as though you're being unreasonable in wanting to go to a class that could help you, why doesnt Mrs want to take you?
so much going on! hugs

In response to: Re: I feel...

QueenieSenior Contributor26 Feb 2018, 10:16 pm AEDT

Re: I feel...

Hey, @Former-Member and thanks for replying. The Mrs told me she wants a sleep in tomorrow, despite her having a sleep in 5 days out of 7 in a week. She says she just needs to type out her answers and submit. I missed some of the lessons due to helping out two research students by participating voluntarily (but not really as I was asked in front of everybody) in a study interview. Now I am relying on my Mrs (who didn't participate in the research interview) to let me know what I need to know. Thing is she is refusing.

I think I am going to have to contact my educator via email (I do have it) and ask for an extension. Usually extensions are only granted for medical or extenuating circumstances, but I wasn't even in the room when important information was delivered to the class and now I have no way of knowing what to do. I wish she'd (my Mrs) would agree to go in. I always like to have the teacher look over my work before I press submit.

I'm in a bit of a pickle. I must keep the peace at home but at the same time, I have paid for a course I intend to succeed in.

In response to: Re: I feel...

Unknown userMember26 Feb 2018, 10:24 pm AEDT

Re: I feel...

That does sound so complicated and im a bit sad for you that your mrs isnt going to help you go in so you can get the information and reassurance you need to help you be successful @Queenie . I dont know what you should do, but writing an email might be the next best thing to do.. maybe ask for a phone call so you can go over your work in a more personal way?
hugs

In response to: Re: I feel...

QueenieSenior Contributor26 Feb 2018, 10:25 pm AEDT

Re: I feel...

Thanks @Former-Member LJ. I think I will do just that tomorrow.

In response to: Re: I feel...

Unknown userMember27 Feb 2018, 9:24 pm AEDT

Re: I feel...

Hiya, @Queenie
How did things go today? hope things have been ok...

In response to: Re: I feel...

QueenieSenior Contributor27 Feb 2018, 9:33 pm AEDT

Re: I feel...

I sent the email @Former-Member, but it hasn't been opened as yet. We have a field trip tomorrow with the class, so I think I'll mention it to her. Class is only on for 3 hrs tomorrow away from the classroom at a museum.

I managed to answer what I think most of the answers should be. I'm probably waaaaay off track, but hey I read the learner guide from cover to cover several times.

I asked for an extension, I guess I will find out soon enough. If worse comes to worse, I will just have to repeat the subject next year.

In response to: Re: I feel...

outlanderSenior Contributor27 Feb 2018, 9:35 pm AEDT

Re: I feel...

@Queenie

In response to: Re: I feel...

Unknown userMember27 Feb 2018, 9:52 pm AEDT

Re: I feel...

Well done on writing the email @Queenie 🙂 you've done what you can there and i hope that you were more on track than you think with your answers 🙂 Hope you hear something back soon or you do get achance to talk to the lecturer tomorrow too, and hope the field trip is interesting!! I wish i was going on a field trip lol 😄

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.