I feel...

@Former-Member, I'm trying my darndest to be in peak performance mentally for my course next week. I am hearing voices really bad and that gets me down 😞 I've tried to make a time to talk to the workers here but they are always so busy they just ignore me. I tried phoning the Mrs but she keeps making excuses why she can't talk to me. I am trying really hard not to catastrophize the situation I find myself in. I was even starting to get (possibly) delusional in that I keep thinking there are cameras in this place watching me. Makes me think I shouldn't have come here. I guess it will be good to go home for that reason (there aren't cameras at home watching my every move!).

@Queeniethe super sucks that the workers there are ignoring you. Seems like sometimes we have to scream, yell, shout to get noticed sometimes which super sucks too.

I know you are going home tomorrow, just hope you will ok and feel that the respite helped a bit.

I think it's helped @Former-Member. I get to eat proper food and I can feel my body just relishing in that. It's not something I get at home, so I am thankful. It's also helped me to slow down a little, which I needed to put the brakes on in my life. I was careening out of control beforehand. Now I am I've re-discovered hindsight, that's got to be a wonderful thing?

@Queenie@Former-Member Hi I hope you dont mind me piping in but when Queenie mentioned cameras it made me chuckle as that is always one of my biggest delusions. I always think there are cameras at home eg: in my computer screen. Lolz oh dear ...

@Bunniekins Little pea, it's weird how the mind can do something in order to freak you out. I have my camera taped up.

@BunniekinsI don't mind one bit.

@QueenieI am glad you think it has helped. Yes hindsight is a wonderful thing sometimes! As long as we keep our minds clear of I could have..... I should have.......

@Queenie@Former-Member Yep I can believe it. When I was totally psychotic I went to a shop and bought an device that picks up cameras (bugs) which have been placed inside you house. That night and there after I went running around touching the walls with this device ... Iwas sure I was picking up signs of cameras . Oh well ...

@Queenie You are sounding a lot better. I know it hasnt been perfect but you seem more grounded which is great. 🙂

Hi @Queenie, @Former-Member, @Bunniekins, hope you don't mind me joining you for a little while.

Queenie, seems like overall it's been good to get a break from being overwhelmed at this place. But that there have been a couple of problems there too: the staff not attending to your asking for some help; and the isolation you have felt while there. Though I don't (or only in the teensiest way) get voices, I'm guessing that isolated feelings might not help with that. I also know that if I spend too much time alone I tend to zone out too. I've spent so many hours in blank states over the years. It is one of the reasons I like the forum so much, keeps me feeling connected, especially at those times when I'm spending way too much time indoors alone.

It also seems, from what you've written, that it's just about time to go home. Despite feeling somewhat abandoned by her while you've been there, I hope you and your partner have a fond reunion tomorrow.

@Mazarita Well said Mazarita. :)xx

Hello @Queenie

sorry I did not see your posts earlier.. I have been ou at appointment an hour away..then went to see twin to discuss findings..then spent ages ring gp..and other specialists..

@Mazarita

do you have a spare room? I need a very long rave...

and we all know how epic my normal posts are!,..

Icant believe that your respite is over already..

I apologise in advance..I am so over the medical world..

queenie you were entitled to care during your respite..hence the term respite care..

did the carer there sit and have conversations with you?

how you are feeling now is possibly further affected by not getting the care you were entitled to..

I just want to mention this because You might add it to your growing list of not feeling good about yourself...

we don't want that to happen...

we want you to return home rested..

will the person who organised the respite care follow up with you? I wonder if you feel it would help your self esteem to let that person know the level of care that you received...you have every right to..

last thing that I want is to add more to your already heavy load..So please do what you think is best for you..

I do hope that you gained something from your stay..

hhmm do you not eat healthy food at home?

starting to sound like a mum now..

I care xx