I feel...

Hello @Queenie

yes you are sounding better

good that you are feeling proud ..you have made some decisions and made appointments..

the buddhist entreat is a brilliant idea......

li find the botanic gardens very coming .

having a string friendsip and understanding with your cousin is a blessing for you...she is a lovely person..

I have not heard of clubhouses perhaps there are onlin Sydney..

doing your placement at a place that you are familiar with is a good idea...

enjoy your special time in the garden..

the teenagers will come and go...just stick you boundaries..

take cre

Well forumites, I came back Thursday night from the Buddhist retreat and it was really interesting. Friday afternoon I saw my GP, rather my GP saw me have a complete meltdown in her office. She really didn't know what to do with me, as my psychiatrist is still on holidays until Monday. She has reinstated the dosage of medication to pre-reduction levels. All I did today was sleep. I feel awful. I am going through medication changes all over again.

Even now, I am falling asleep. So today's visit to SANE will be a flying one I'm afraid.

sorry to hear that @Queenie but im glad you had a good time otherwise. sleep is better than those thoughts so at least your keeping yourself safe

Hi @Queenie, interesting that the buddhist retreat seemed to precipitate your meltdown. Do you think it was too intensive? I was part of an eastern spiritual group when I was younger and had some disturbing reactions to too much meditation, basically started semi-hallucinating (those particular syptoms are not usually part of my experience). Take it easy while you are in the medication transition and hope the earlier doses kick in soon and help.

Hi @Queenie

Sorry to read of your meltdown - how are you going now? I hope you are feeling better. Thinking of you

@Mazarita I found the Buddhist retreat really calming but at the back of my mind was all this stress. I couldn't unbridle it in just one day I found.

@Former-Member @outlander @Former-Member @Bunniekins I guess I am doing a tiny bit better but I am totally and utterly exhausted. Been rushing everywhere with the teenagers during their holidays. Had to cancel my sleep study that was scheduled for today as we got back from the cinema too late to get to my appointment. Sigh... it seems I come last again. It makes me sad, it honestly does. I knew they forgot about my appointment and scheduled something on top of it so I couldn't get there. I'm not angry anymore just sad and exhausted.

Looking forward to respite next Monday afternoon. Just when I hit baseline, it seems I hit a whole new low.

Listening to the sounds of nature on a meditation track should calm me down, but instead, I am falling through the floor mood wise. This was how I tried to explain things to my GP last Friday. She didn't really understand me and I guess it's not clear either. I've been wearing the mask so long this time it is taking a physical toll. I have dark yellow circles under my eyes. I look awful. I look how I feel I guess. I don't know why I said in my previous post that I feel a bit better... I don't really. It is just me wearing the mask even here on Forum Land.

6 days to go. I am counting the minutes.

@Queenie I have been missing you Queenie! Very sorry to hear that you missed out on your appointments ... teenagers are just often in their own little world, not always but mostly. I am sure none of their behaviour is meant to be vindictive. Just make sure you make it on Monday. Make sure it is written on a post it notes all throughout the house so everyone gets it that this is important to you and that you are definately going regardless of what the teenagers plan. That is everyone knows including the Mrs that you are going.xx