I feel...

@Queenie Sweetheart I really do think you should be heading for hospital. That is my honest unprofessional opinion.

talk about 'make yourself at home' sheesh do they not have any respect at all? you really shouldnt be sitting in the kitchen on your own when your are part of the family- no matter what anyone else thinks

@Queenie

maybe you can take cash out of your credit card if it comes to that?

im very glad you didnt do anything, i really wish someone would help you in RL now not in 2 weeks time. i wish your mrs would stick up for you alittle more too. i know she loves you and her kids as well but taking up your spot on the lounge is something really simple and is taking a toll on your as it would but it would be a simple fix.

i also agree with @Bunniekins i really think you should at least consider the public sector even for a few nights @Queenie

I just spoke to my Mrs about everything to do with respite. It is settled... I am going (hopefully they have a place) on the 15th of January to 20th of January. It means I'll get my injection a day late but it shouldn't matter I wouldn't think (I used to get it every 3 weeks anyway and my pdoc wants to put me back to a larger dose every 3 weeks anyway). I broached with her the subject of money and the fact she has been spending money set aside for my care on other things (like Christmas presents). She said she'll go halves with me in the costs, so it is a lot more affordable for me. I was amazed she calm throughout the conversation really as I could tell I angered her. She agreed that I need it or otherwise it will culminate in a lengthy stay in a hospital.

I can't go to a public unit anymore @outlander @Bunniekins, as they just turn me away and refer me back to the private psychiatrist I go to (who is on holiday until 8th January). I could go in under a different doctor and transfer later, but it could take weeks and weeks and I don't have weeks and weeks (I start my course January 22). Besides I really don't want another birthday on the ward.

I am getting in on the only day free thankfully that we have for weeks. Fingers crossed!

@Queenie

Well done for getting through such a painful day...distracting yourself...being firm with yourself..on top of not letting those voices take control..

that is an incredible achievement..please do not dismiss exactly what you went through on your own..with everyone else around you doing their ow thing..

teenagers are selfish mostly...next time..politely say ..this is my chair where I feel most comfortable..grab yourself one from the kitchen or just make yourself comfy on the floor..

soounds as though your Mrs although seeming a little selfish at first has probably been doing some quiet reflecting and realising how serious having this respite care is..great for you both moving forward compromise made re finances..

if you see your specialist on the eighth make sure that you stress how hard this has been..he or she might be able to get you in earlier..

I do agree with others your health is top priority over any outings or events..unfortunate..

bottom line you don't want to be feeling so bad either..

overall you have handled the ongoing upheaval with teenagers and misunderstanding from mrs

so please no more self hate self loathing talk..I have been there...very unhelpful...what makes others better than me ...mental illness does not define me or control me..

yes it affects me and when needed I now know to ask for help..

you are doing exactly that...brave..strong..self caring..intelligent thinking

queenie is a survivor. Isn't she @outlander @Bunniekins @Former-Member

Respite has room for me! Therefore I am spending 5 days in respite! I called them this morning. I feel somewhat relieved really.

I had a terrible night's sleep last night... voices, noises in the night, strange and violent dreams.

Thank goodness something positive has happened!

Thank you @outlander, @Former-Member @Bunniekins and @Former-Member for keeping a recent eye on me. It's much appreciated.

@Bunniekins I just found the perfect car for you little pea. A pea-mobile!