I feel...

Goodnight @outlander. I do hope those nightmares subside.

I feel terrible. I can't sleep for the life of me and I have all these parties I have to go to (we are hosting some, so kind of unavoidable). The Mrs loves Christmas so much and I hate it for various reasons, one of them being the chance it could cause a manic episode in me (or at least hypomanic). It seems to have done that and now I've crashed again, I can recognise it for what it was. Do I dare tell my Mrs how I am feeling or do I struggle to wear that mask again? I don't want to ruin Christmas for her or anyone else. We are going on vacation in a week, I don't want to go. She has already packed and is super excited. I haven't bothered to pack yet as I figure there's plenty of time yet. I'm not excited at all.

Bah humbug!

christmas is a hard time for alot of people including myself @Queenie try not to be too hard on yourself.

about going on holidays, you didnt want to go last time and you have a good time remember?

I'm not sure her kids are that excited about the holiday either to be honest. One has an injury and could end up with her leg in a cast yet. We are going to the beach, so kind of awful for the poor kid really. She has to sit and watch the rest of us. I am thinking of keeping her company with a book or something. They are watching Christmas movies every single day and night right up to Christmas. It drives me up the flippin' wall!

I wish Christmas wasn't as hard for people like you and me @outlander. Christmas just makes me so unwell.

oh dear @Queenie id prob do the same as in reading abook with her

mind if i ask her kids ages?

has she spoken to them about why they arent excited?

yeah, i know xmas hits hard for alot of us. i dont watch xmas movies everyday, often when they come on the weekends or if im bored ill put one on but ive only got like 3 of them here anyway

Girl child is 14 @outlander. She is the one with the leg possibly going in a cast. Boy child is 13. I think I know why Girl child isn't excited and that is because of her leg. She won't be able to do much except play on her phone and read. Boy child thinks adult are pretty lame and avoids us like the plague. He spends his time playing video games and playing with his friends (who won't be on the holiday). It will be my first holiday away with just the Mrs and the kids. There'll be no wifi, so no phones and video games. I know the Mrs and I can survive, but the teenagers, I'm not so sure.

oh now i see why @Queenie no technology is like taking away their life at that age. and with the girl with possibly needing a cast, she wont be able to do much like swimming and will be uncomfortable. maybe you will all enjoy the time away even without technology. im sure youll be fine, your a good parent too you know even though they arent blood related you are still their family and a relative whether they call you mum or not but they love you too