RE: Darkness surrounds me

@Former-Member - hey hun, you're tired and distressed. It's not helping your mood right now. And you know and I know that it's not whinging or complaining; it's venting. Something different entirely. We all that when we're distressed. And it's ok. Please try to keep yourself safe. I'm here sitting with you holding you close, and trying to keep you safe. And nothing, absolutely nothing you say could upset me. You know we've walked this darkened path together, trying to keep the panic from rising up, unable to see our way out the other end, waiting to sit and let the darkness consume us. You don't have to give in @Former-Member. Let's get through this together.

@Former-Member 💜

@Former-Member - who can determine what tommorow might bring, or next week, next month, next year? Don't we owe it to ourselves first to stay, be curious to see what might happen? I know what you're thinking. Tommorrow, the next day, next week will be more of the same nightmares, distress, feeling worthless, feeling helpless. I ask myself everyday what do I have to look forward to, and right now it's seems like nothing. But I still have dreams and things I want to do. Those dreams are sometimes what give me focus when I can't see. I want to give up too, and you know how many times I have tried (well actually not exact no of times, but why count). I know people have told you that you have a husband and children so that should be enough. And I understand too that you probably feel that you're suffering is so great, that you are a burden to them, so they'd be better off without you. I say to you instead of living for them, which is hard, aren't you at least a little curious how they might grow up? Aren't you curious to see what sort of life they might have? Will they do what you think you expect or will they completely about face? And you, what about you? This pain won't last forever. I'm sure of that. So what and who will you become? Are you curious of that? How much will this experience change you? I know I'm changing already, slowly but surely. And if I have to be alive and go through this hell then I'm going to try to help others navigate their way through their experiences. That's what's keeping me going for now. It's all I have to hold onto. You and this forum also are a big part of me sticking around too.