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RE: Darkness surrounds me
6693 replies
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Sans911that is what the pdoc was talking about on Wednesday. He said the ones he will have me try next if these ones don't work are for lowering blood pressure but can also help with the nightmares/flashbacks. He did give me the name of them so I can look into them further. I have done some research and most people have found them beneficial so think I will tell him to go ahead.
I need something else for night I think. Although I controlled the flashbacks today well, they have stirred up again tonight which is starting to bring out the SH/SI thoughts again. I know my main trigger for SH/SI is my nightmares/flashbacks so really need to get them undercontrol as best as I can.
I don't know, it just seems all too much at the moment. 3 more sleeps! and for you 1 more. You made it 
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Former-Member - I can understand how things can go around in viscous circles when you can't get control of something. For me my SI/SH was triggered by invalidating remarks by 'helping' professionals and multiple stressors. Ringing helplines is always fraught with will they make things better or worse? So sometimes like yesterday I rode it out except for you guys here knew what was going on and a support worker. It was and always is hard when I ride out SI/SH. It's like a screaming match in my head between good cop and bad cop. For me, it's developing effective coping strategies to ride through the urges (which as you know don't always work) and having protective mechanisms in place, like something to look forward to. That's why I pick up my meds twice a week, I reduce what I have at home, I stay home when I want to SA/SH to control the impulses, last resort is taking a chance on helplines or the mh crisis team. What stopped me yesterday was what was planned this morning and my upcoming therapy session tommorrow. I don't want to do anything to jeopardise that, including being in hospital. Now I believe I can work towards getting stable and then dealing with all the other issues. There's still many, many more downs than ups, but they sometimes get easier to manage. Sometimes not. It all work in progress, trial and error and practice of effective skills. And a believe that in time life won't be like this forever. It will be easier and more worthwhile.
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Sans911I am glad you have got things in place to help you and having things to look forward to helps a lot. Also very glad that you have that belief however I know how hard it is to continue that when things go astray.
I have my coping strategies in place for when things get too much and they do work well most of the time. I find I have a screaming match in my head too with my thoughts and depending on how my coping strategies work, depends on which voice becomes louder.
I have been practicing my strategies even when I am not distressed so I become more efficient at them so hopefully over time this all becomes easier. Well I can hope anyway!
You are right however in it being trial and error.
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Former-Member - I'm logging out in a few minutes. I hope you get some sleep tonight. I'm trying for a good sleep. I'm looking forward to seeing this pyschologist tommorow. Trying to keep my expectations realistic. I got only one more sleep tonight, and I know I got this. You've only got 2 hun,and that lovely husband will be home. We got this. Stay safe sister 💜💙💚❤️
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Sans911 Good night sis, sleep well and if I don’t talk to you beforehand I hope it goes well with the psychologist tomorrow💜 you’ve got this hun ❤️
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Things can turn so quickly, okish one moment, despair the next
3 more sleeps, I've got this havent I? I don't know anymore. If I have, then what. Just make it to Sunday, then what.
Tonight its too hard, too many thought, too many plans, just too many bad memories.
I'm just sorry
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
ArtaudSenior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Hi Nell 23
Artaud the moderator just letting you know I am on tonight.
Regards
Artaud
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Former-Member i honestly typed out before to you 'i keep telling myself just to get through tonight' but i fall back to why, what for so you do it all again...... i know your husband is back on sunday and altho the battle wont suddenly go away for you, you know you have him by your side to makes things maybe just that little bit easier as you have his suport or even just knowing he is close by. I know its hard having horrid memories, have you done any grounding to bring you back to hear an now? Such as the 5things?
5 things you can see
4 things you can see
3things you can hear
2 things you can smell
1 thing you can touch
You can do more or less of each one depending on you i guess, it may be useless or heard it before. I honestly think i should do it for myself at the moment also!
Know that i am right here with you tonight and you have got this, it just may not be easy is all and we are all here for you ❤❤❤
5 things you can see
4 things you can see
3things you can hear
2 things you can smell
1 thing you can touch
You can do more or less of each one depending on you i guess, it may be useless or heard it before. I honestly think i should do it for myself at the moment also!
Know that i am right here with you tonight and you have got this, it just may not be easy is all and we are all here for you ❤❤❤
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Former-Member Three more sleeps. You can do this. You've got this!
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Former-Member 💜 💜 only 2 more sleeps to go now
Im hoping you got some sleep and stayed safe ❤
Im hoping you got some sleep and stayed safe ❤
