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RE: Darkness surrounds me
6693 replies
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Former-Member Yes, I remember you saying your psychologicist is away for 2weeks.it probably feels like an eternity. I'm am not sure anyone else, but you're not burdening me with your problem. I see it as sharing the load, and being able to say what's bothering you. I struggle too with sharing, but I've done more sharing in the last few days than the last few months. And it's helped me a little to feel less alone, less like what I'm going through is an isolated experience. These forums are a like a safe haven from the harness of the world. I never feel judged, only listened to and empathised.
I understand all too well wanting to give up, not wanting to try, and nothing changes. Of course, it feels different from your perspective. Why keep going then? I don't know, really. I just have to put one foot in front of the other for now, take each hour or day as it comes, and maybe the next corner or the corner after that offers something to let me take one more step forward and doesn't trip me up.
I understand all too well wanting to give up, not wanting to try, and nothing changes. Of course, it feels different from your perspective. Why keep going then? I don't know, really. I just have to put one foot in front of the other for now, take each hour or day as it comes, and maybe the next corner or the corner after that offers something to let me take one more step forward and doesn't trip me up.
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
I'm trying to take it hour by hour and it's pointless. I can't sleep, I can't function. This isn't living.
i hate the person I have become and remember less and less of the person I used to be.
Soory it is so negative @Sans911 but I can't see any positives anymore.a
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Former-Member you don't have to apologise to me hun. I'm not asking you for positive reasons to live or anything else positive I'm here to listen as long as you need me too. Do you have a good GP? Could you go to see them; maybe add or increase some of your meds for the short term just until your psychologicist returns? Lack of sleep plays so much havoc with everything. Are you feeling safe from harm right now? Is there someone else at home with you? Your husband or children. You sound like you're at the end of your tether. And it's horrid place to be. Is there anything, no matter how small, you could do to distract yourself? If not, just talk to me. Tell me anything you want. I can sit you minute by minute for a while. I have a drs appt in an hour, so I've got until then, and I'm free for the rest of the day after that.
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
I am not on any meds @Sans911. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist in 3 weeks. This is all new to me so I thought I would have to wait till then to be out on something.
I have my children at home but I don't feel entirely safe at the moment. I just feel defeated. I'm trying so hard not to feel this way for my kids.
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Former-Member wow that is tough without meds. Your GP could still prescribe something in the interim. Something to help with your anxiety and sleep. It might be worth making an appointment to see them. Do you feel like you might hurt yourself today? Do you have a local community mental health team? You can contact them and ask to speak to the triage nurse. They can sometimes come to your home to assess and support you.
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
This is all so new to me @Sans911, i don't even know what a community mental health team is. I will have to look it up.
I can try and see my GP i guess.
SH isn't anything new to me. It's my way of coping. Not a good way but a way.
Thanks for helping me, you are spreading your touch all over the forum today
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Former-Member I was new to all this at one point, and it's been a difficult road to travel. Still very difficult. I have a very caring, proactive GP who really takes time with me. It means a lot. I see her weekly for now, even just as a check in. I isolate a lot with my MI, so I don't really talk to anyone except a few words to my cat and house mate. The community mh in my area are also helpful. I look at them at my added supports to keep me safe and out of hospital. I've actually got to get to my GP now, but I'll be back soon. Hang in there Nell. It's hell I know, but just hang on anyway you can. Talk soon
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Thanks @Sans911 but don't rush back for me, you need to look after yourself first. No one knows the mental pain I go through and the physcial pain I put myself through except for my psychologist. I thought I would cope with him away, but I can't.
The SI keep rolling around in my clouded head. I just keep repeating kids, kids, kids silently.
Hell is a good word for it.
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
I already SH today and got super angry at myself.
