Unknown userMember
FORUMS
Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.
- 47,612Members
- 1,358,869Posts
- 1,400,000Visitors
RE: Darkness surrounds me
6693 replies
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Sorry to all if you had to listen to my garbage last night. Sometimes the only way out is to write down what is in my head so I can think more clearly 🤐🤐🤐🤐
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Hello @Former-Member
Good to see you made it through a tough night and the forum was able to help you. Hope today is ok for you.
Take care, MummaMia
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Why is anxiety so crippling?
It makes me feel so useless at times that I have no control over when it is going to hit me. It seems to have taken over my life to the point where I cannot function properly. Even my daughter noticed tonight for the first time and said, "Mum, why do you always forget things these days?" I felt like the worst mother in the world. For the last two days she has asked me to get her an ingredient from the supermarket so she could make something, and two days in a row I have forgotten. How hard is it to remember one thing?
Does anyone else feel like this? If so, how do you make it better?
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Former-MemberI don't consider what you write to be garbage. It all matters and is important to you. I was happy to listen. I don't always know what to say or do, but your story is as valid as anyone else's
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Thanks @Sans911
I don't really expect anyone to reply. It's mainly if I keep it bottled up then the consequences of that won't be good. So writing it down gives me short lived relief.
You sound like my psychologist when you say my story is as valid as anyone else's!!! I always disagree with him when he saying something along those lines!!!
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Safety plans sux sometimes. It doesn't help me and even if I try and use it, I end up doing it to myself anyway.
I just don't care anymore what happens to me
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Hour by hour isn't working tonight, lets try minute by minute. 
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
I told myself I wouldn't do this again, go on and on about useless crap, so this is it.
I think my plan needs to go into the bin again. I feel helpless. Pain seems to be the only option left
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Still no sleep, not much point now. Too upset with myself for putting myself through the pain of them. Looking back, probably should have called someone. I think I need a new safety plan😥😥
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Former-Member Morning hun, I'm sorry your nights continue to be such a difficult time for you. Who did you write your safety plan with? Do you have someone to help you re-write another one? Don't forget if you are struggling, and reaching out to someone on the phone seems unlikely, take a moderator to talk to you. It's a distraction for a sort time, if nothing else. And just because you had one bad experience on a phone call, doesn't mean they're all like that. I've had my share of good and bad phone calls; now I have no hesitation in saying 'sorry, this is not helping me & I'm hanging up'. I'm not sure what service you used, but some of the ones I've tried are ATAPS, Suicide Call Back Service, Beyond Blue. You don't have to feel suicidal to use any of these.
And the emotional pain you are going isn't 'useless crap' (yes, I still that about my stuff too). It's very real, very overwhelming and very difficult to deal with. Sounds like you're being really hard on yourself, that perhaps you feel you should be able to get through this alone and your pain isn't worthy of reaching out for help. You matter immensely @Former-Member, and there is no shame that you are suffering. I don't know much about you, but as you seen from my posts, I understand the experiences you're describing. But I'm learning to trust others to help me, even if it just means to sit beside me in silence at times.
And the emotional pain you are going isn't 'useless crap' (yes, I still that about my stuff too). It's very real, very overwhelming and very difficult to deal with. Sounds like you're being really hard on yourself, that perhaps you feel you should be able to get through this alone and your pain isn't worthy of reaching out for help. You matter immensely @Former-Member, and there is no shame that you are suffering. I don't know much about you, but as you seen from my posts, I understand the experiences you're describing. But I'm learning to trust others to help me, even if it just means to sit beside me in silence at times.
