RE: Darkness surrounds me

@Former-Member@Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member@outlanderI was doing my shopping online this morning and I find that it helps because I can avoid chocolate and the like completely. With the discounts it generally makes up for the delivery fee and I find it is worth it in the long run.

@outlander yes I find if I dont have any chocolate I am fine but should one tiny morsal touch my lips I cannot stop eating it *sigh* as I said no moderation for this lil black duck.

thats the same as me @Bunniekins if i dont touch it im fine but as soon as i open it its all over!

@outlander Haha! 😄

I am not tagging anyone because I don't want you to feel like you have to respond.

Last night wasn't a good night, but I did reach out for help which I haven't always in the past so I am going to take that as a positive although the night was difficult.

So I saw my psychologist this morning. Like always we ran out of time to talk about everything we needed too. Spoke about my SH and SI and the concerns around them. Respite is avaliable but all that needs to be on hold until Hubby is home. Spoke about the safety concerns for the next 13 days and just tweaked a few things on the plan. He wants me to check in with him via email every second day. It is nice having that feeling that someone cares about you, even though my self image is so low that I don't see why he would bother caring about me, and told him that too.

I have some homework to complete for him which I will do before our next session.

Overall it was a good, intense, hard, emotional session. Got a bit leaky in there (nothing new) and a bit freaked out, but settled down with his help. Phew, glad this day is more than half way over.

@Former-Member I know I have said this before but he really does sound like a fabulous psychologist. You scored well with getting him. Sorry the session was so hard but that is good to see that he obviously feels he has to do that to open you up a bit more.

Well done NellBell for being so brave and pushing yourself through all of this. We all knowit isn't easy for you.

Thanks @Bunniekins @outlander

Yes greenpea I did score well there. Outlander, we have spoken about respite before but think it will be probably a good idea. Well I say that now but that might change as it gets closer!!!

I think me emailing him every second day lets him know I am ok.

Thanks to both for your support, it means so much to me

I hope you are both having good days. @outlander good luck for your appt. this afternoon

@Bunniekins, can't do that here, my mother just went down the street which she hasn't been doing which is good in food way, and I forgot to tell her not to buy crap,bet she does that's why I brought drumsticks for her the other day because I'm like it with a tub of ice cream...maybe my name Li1 should be changed to "Tubby"?!lol

Shopping is my main interaction sadly @Bunniekins,good idea but it does get you out.But good if you have that self control to pop out for a coffee.🛀