RE: Darkness surrounds me

Oh @Former-Member sorry to read of your ordeal. It would of been very frightening for you both and very distressing. I am so pleased your son is alright now and you had a chance to rest. Has this happened before?

I can relate to your feelings of being over everything. I remember struggling with my own issues and having to rush either my husband (who has cancer and heart problems) or my daughter to hospital whom has mental health issues as a result of sexual assault. It really was overwhelming and just felt too much. I honestly didn't think I would get through at times and it was living moment to moment. Emotionally and mentally I had it and can completely understand where you are at nell. I also had to take something after those episodes to help calm me down as I had to deal with it completely on my own. And I had to get a lot of sleep and eat well to cope. The worst part was dealing with it on my own.

Please take it easy for awhile now nell to give yourself a chance to gain some equilibrium again. I do understand the sequence of "one thing happening after another" and when we are struggling this just gets too much. You did well to cope the way you did. Now while you can please catch some peace and grab onto it. That's what I do. Savour it and take it easy with some self nurturing. Other things that are not urgent can wait. I hope you get some good sleep tonight as that always helps the next day to look better. Please let us know how you go as I will be thinking of you 😘

Thanks @outlander. I am just laying on the couch now trying to keep it all together. He is alseep for now thankfully.

@Former-Memberthanks for that. Yes it has happened before. Sometimes he is ok and I can control it at home mostly, other times I just neeed that help.

I was ok at the hospital, sort of like on autopilot, just did what I needed to do. It is when I get home that I lose it and fall into that hole.

@Faith-and-Hopethanks, good luck with the app. thinking of you hun

@Former-Member - I am exactly the same - very strong at the time to support and then when home and all settles I feel the impact. Glad your son and yourself are now resting. Your a good mum nell. Sleep well xx

Thanks @Former-Member

Thats what I normally do. Hold it together and then when I stop, it all crumbles down around me and all those unhelpful thoughts return. I guess lots probably do that.

Good morning everyone .... ☕️💕

Without wanting to trigger any of you, there is a new forumite posting here -

Dark Thoughts Scaring Me

Maybe don’t read back through the thread .... because their story is similar to so many of yours, with CSA and awful DV from an abusive husband ..... so this is a trigger warning to y’all ..... but they are suffering the cycle of recurring nightmares that prevents them from sleeping, and a really low sense of self-worth has them believing that they don’t deserve to even be here or listened to on the forums.

Please only respond if you feel able to, but even a “hi” in passing will provide them another chance to feel some connection.

💜