RE: Darkness surrounds me

Well I am glad you are still alive @Zoe7!!

Thinking is overrated anyway. That's another thing my psychologist says to me 'stop over thinking things'

I do however find that is much easier to help someone on here than to receive help. We have all these words of wisdom of others, yet are so hard on ourselves. Hmmm deep discussion for 2am in the morning😀😀

Nah @Former-Member 2am is perfect for such discussions - it is quiet and conducive to 'pearls of wisdom' lol

Certainly is quieter @Zoe7 and does help to get my thought together. But nights are where the real over thinking occurs for me. Where my brain decides to shut the logical part out and go on wild adventures into dangerous territory. Haha sounds like I am taking a trip in a jungle!!🌴🌴

Nights are a real struggle for me too @Former-Member I am doing remarkably well tonight though considering all that has happened today and no meds tonight. Taking a break from here earlier when it was really busy was good too - I was just starting to 'think' of how hard it all is and my mind was 'wandering' into dangerous territory. It doesn't take much for me to 'go there' and I could feel it happening while reading some posts (not from you btw) - so I needed to disengage completely from here and curl up in my corner for a while. It didn't help that I was still feeling light headed and my stomach was still sore. That has eased a little - bareable now - but probably shouldn't get up too quickly lol

@Former-Member Best not to talk about my hospital 'visit' today - was not a pleasant experience I got through it and it is over with - for now anyway.

I start to 'struggle' when a conversation 'turns' from supporting one person to having to validate or support another - that is when I will leave so I don't get drawn into a different 'conversation' than the one I first entered into. It has taken me a long time to be able to do that without feeling that I am abandoning someone - but it is absolutely necessary for me so as not to be triggered (or at least to minimise the harm to myself). It is not always easy to do but I think I have become much more 'at peace' with doing it within myself - knowing that the alternative is to stay in a 'situation' that may not be helpful to me or others in the conversation (if that all makes sense!)

Goodnight @Former-Member I hope NOT to 'see' you until the sun is up

Crap crap crap thought it was too good to be true. Tried my different strategies and they havent

worked. Anxiety is through the roof. I can't do this, I can't go through with it, I just want to leave

I can't control the anxiety and I've got SH and SI in my face and here it doesn't matter what I do it won't help