RE: Darkness surrounds me

..who knew .. @Former-Member @Sans911 lol

@Former-Member 💜

Re:carers @Faith-and-Hope,it's my story people don't know about mentioned it here and there including my mother making me out to be physically harming her in 2001 which caused inner conflict plus her suffocation,can rarely go anywhere on my own ,she is very self centred.I had counseling to try to offload the guilt I felt to get my own life,train wreck.I hit times of reality like last night,really depressed at the moment which is a storm only I can go through.Thanks.Multiple reasons why I'm miserable.

I don't get the payment for a few weeks @TAB,get backplates,from the 6 December.Just had my job provided ring about a cleaning job in the local paper.They are only usually couple of hours for the travel,have to weigh up if it's worth the trouble.Do anything to go back to a full 8 he day,now I'm offered shit jobs

Been h-it by the misery bus myself today @Former-Member ...... sulking in the coffee shop for another 15mins or so before I pull my big-girl pants up to my armpits and soldier on ......

Have another 15min walk home to pull myself back together and start hustling everyone ....... back on the rollercoaster today.

Thinking of you ...... wishing you courage and strength ..... I would h8 to be carer for my mil ..... think she would rival your mum .....

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope ,no one can understand our situations, I have failed in life,that's the hardest to live with. Many reasons as stated.

Hope your day gets better @Faith-and-Hope

Thanks @Former-Member .....

Well at least you will get the backpayment it sounds @Former-Member .yes I understand re full time work. I usually just get enough hours in a fortnight to stop them paying me anything when I am registered. Its like insurance for me as I never know how much or if any work upcoming well until the last minute.
If you aren't well, you could get a sick certificate. That would get job network off your back, but employers don't have to no about it so you can still apply for work or work.