RE: Darkness surrounds me

Sorry @TAB,just have gone to my dark place

@Sans911,can't believe that statement sorry,tried to change things and it took what I had ,I was punished for it.Wish it was self pity only but I have had negative reinforcement nearly all my life.As stated before have had periods of psychosis with a voice at high times of anxiety, whatever he said like "you know you won't win" has been very real.

Not you @Sans911,,just hard not to feel pity for myself when I am now down.The fact that I have applied for carer's show that I lost,and I did everything to prevent that from happening and lost.No one can help,you know that.

Hi @Former-Member .....

I know you have logged off now, so I will leave this for you when you come back online ....

I am hearing you. You have been here for quite a while now, and from the outset you didn’t want to accept Carers Payment for looking after the mother you don’t want to be looking after. It represents further defeat for you from where you had hoped to be ....

I wish you didn’t feel that way. Being a carer is hard, even for people who are a pleasure to be around, and it’s clear that that is not how it is with your mother. It is work ..... if you were employed as a nurse, or a teacher, or any other service profession, you would be receiving payments for your efforts, and the whole point of carers payments is that it keeps the government from having to send some else into the carer situation, if family are already there with established relationships.

But nobody can tell you how to feel ..... you are the expert of yourself in your own situation .... and you feel how you feel for your own reasons and as a result of your life experiences.

I hope for you that your life experiences begin to change for the better, but that is my hope for you, and you are entitled to your own feelings.

Sending you hugs @Former-Member .... please be gentle on yourself.

💜💜💜