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RE: Darkness surrounds me
6693 replies
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
I think I'm exempted now I'm claiming carers ,have a look at the ad when I see the paper.I housecleaning two houses myself, but worry when you have to meet cleaning times for companies etc.Worked before, the pressure they put you under don't know if its worth it....cleaned shit toilets in a nursing home years ago,... Never again baby.
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
TABSenior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member ... I was considering trying to become carer for my father 12mths ago..seems unimaginable now, after his last few outbursts at me. Age seems to have loosened the not so tight screws there .. anyways.. li1 saying you have failed at life at 45 is a bit final. I finished uni at 40 and probably earnt more well worked more from 45 to now then the 20years preceding which I could have quite easily said was a failed life. Am still going. Somehow. But if thats a label you need well keep it maybe. And yes no one cand understand someone else's individual circumstances or thoughts/feelings/sense of loss completely..
..anyway .. see you at the shack and your shout for macas at wedding re backpay.. lol 😍👰
..anyway .. see you at the shack and your shout for macas at wedding re backpay.. lol 😍👰
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@TAB,when you are down hard to feel positive,my mother put a hell of a lot of stress on me over the years,never helped herself.My reasons are varied.I was obese by the time I was 4,and I do blame her,as it was her failure in her duty of care.The obesity I carried through childhood and early adolescence caused a lot of trauma and depression and huge lack of self confidence and self worth.I don't get along with other siblings ,my mother preferred them when she was in hospital last year excluded intentionally.But it's ok to take my life,my freedom.I would like to meet someone @Tab,but wwhen you are broke and done ,I cannot see myself as worthy.
Can't wait for the wedding guns,and the litters of collie rough puppies we are going to breed,and I want a chookhouse!lol
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
TABSenior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Yes, at that age parents would definitely be in the picture re obesity . I didn't achieve it until late 20s maybe lol and have yo yo ed and struggle with it still re weight, although if I was 6kg lighter now I wouldn't see it as an issue, so it's lack of motivation and bad habits on my part
Yeah my siblings don't really have anything to do with me. One talks semi regularly, one not at all and one on a functional basis.
They have their own lives and families and have had for a long time. I guess I never grew up, in most ways. I still struggle with anxiety and depression and can barely look after myself well not in any good way a lot of the time.
Yes, same re father. Was openly rude, aggressive, dismissive, hate filled to me last couple meetings. The worst was that that led to him ignoring me, then praising others standing next to me. I was just dumbfounded. Brother had to try and explain to him what he was doing, which he ignored. Just made it worse. @Former-Member yeah shot gun wedding re spelling haha yeah cookhouse next to outhouse lol 😍👸
Yeah my siblings don't really have anything to do with me. One talks semi regularly, one not at all and one on a functional basis.
They have their own lives and families and have had for a long time. I guess I never grew up, in most ways. I still struggle with anxiety and depression and can barely look after myself well not in any good way a lot of the time.
Yes, same re father. Was openly rude, aggressive, dismissive, hate filled to me last couple meetings. The worst was that that led to him ignoring me, then praising others standing next to me. I was just dumbfounded. Brother had to try and explain to him what he was doing, which he ignored. Just made it worse. @Former-Member yeah shot gun wedding re spelling haha yeah cookhouse next to outhouse lol 😍👸
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
TABSenior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Ruff puppies! ? @Former-Member ? Ok border collies I know. Had them on farm as kid
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Grew up with rough collies,border collies are cute too.I think something was missing @TAB,in the nurturing process whether it's you or I.My eldest sibling was the favourite,pretty smart acceptable,caught my father looking at her in a way I never got.The relatives acknowledged she was the favourite too,wonder why the ****,they have anymore at times.Your father sounds like he's not worth a second thought.
Meant chookhouse!lol,we did have a toilet outside growing up,it was a nightmare.
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
TABSenior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Well I was the favourite to twist the puzzle further @Former-Member also the black sheep who became the failure.. funny/odd that that still plays on sisters mind re stil hanging on to approval seeking. I guess that's one thing had in common with siblings trying to get approval from distant father .. so father thing is not that simple to write off dunno. Ok. Why are you with your mother then, I could ask.. re not worth 2nd thought??.. hmm
Ok yeah chookhouse. Yes didn't have inside toilet til 13yo tv was 10 maybe haha grew up in dark ages lol @Former-Member
Ok yeah chookhouse. Yes didn't have inside toilet til 13yo tv was 10 maybe haha grew up in dark ages lol @Former-Member
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
I'm the black sheep,@Tab as well,I'm with her because I never got my own life and paid the price, like anything else you only have that window open for a short time..Outhouse wasn't good times.
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
TABSenior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
...aa agh ...!! I just got a rejection email for a job thought was chance for was at least 4 wks but interstate and really good $ .. went on PC and saw they replied yest, pretty much saying I had the job, just had to bs them re accom, still would have made sense to pay for my own and would have been wayy in front..
got to clean out inbox... aaa aagh ... @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope my life ... kicking self but will get over it. got to stop using phone all the time for email. never saw their reply .. just ..dumb... woulda been like 12 grand after tax for me, could have done a deal at motel or stayed at a caravan pk etc ...Yukk
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
F**** @TAB,on a walk,hope you had time to reply back,or not?
