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RE: Darkness surrounds me
6693 replies
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Former-Member - I want to go back to the respite centre but I'm a little concerned that they won't take me. I'm in a bind really because if I'm honest & say in the morning I can't gaurentee my safety, I won't be able to go back there. So I don't like lying, but I might have to choose my words carefully.
I do actually want to stay alive, if I can find reasons enough to. This means working with the respite centre & participating in ways to maintain my safety, and regulate my emotions a little bit better, so I'm not experiencing such extremes. And it's why I have gone back to the suicide prevention counsellor.
So if they won't let me back to the respite centre, because of my level of risk, they may transfer me to the mh unit closer to home.
I am worried that if the respite centre won't take me, then I will completely give up, as it'll feel like they've given up on me.
Ive barely spoke since I been in hospital. It's my protection from having to deal with uncaring, invalidating staff.
I'm just waiting on meds to help me sleep. Thank goodness they've given me something which is helping.
I do actually want to stay alive, if I can find reasons enough to. This means working with the respite centre & participating in ways to maintain my safety, and regulate my emotions a little bit better, so I'm not experiencing such extremes. And it's why I have gone back to the suicide prevention counsellor.
So if they won't let me back to the respite centre, because of my level of risk, they may transfer me to the mh unit closer to home.
I am worried that if the respite centre won't take me, then I will completely give up, as it'll feel like they've given up on me.
Ive barely spoke since I been in hospital. It's my protection from having to deal with uncaring, invalidating staff.
I'm just waiting on meds to help me sleep. Thank goodness they've given me something which is helping.
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Sans911 Well hopefully you can go back to respite. I guess the respite centre has a duty of care and their own rules they have to follow. Sometimes it feels more about ticking the boxes than the individual person. I am glad you want to stay alive because I am not giving up on you. I am glad they have given you something to help you sleep. At least it will make the time go quicker!
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Former-Member - hun, I'm going to log off. Sounds stupid to say I'm tired after all the sleeping I've done here, but I am.
I know sleep is a huge issue for you, so I won't say have a good sleep, but at least rest up, and even if it's 1 or 2hours uninterrupted sleep, then that's better than none.
I'll catch up with you sometime tomorrow. Thanks for being around for me. I really appreciate it. 🌺🌻🌼🌸💐💮🏵️🌹🐝
I know sleep is a huge issue for you, so I won't say have a good sleep, but at least rest up, and even if it's 1 or 2hours uninterrupted sleep, then that's better than none.
I'll catch up with you sometime tomorrow. Thanks for being around for me. I really appreciate it. 🌺🌻🌼🌸💐💮🏵️🌹🐝
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Sans911 I’ll always be here for you hun 💜💜 Good night
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Fkn hell when are these nightmares/flashbacks going to stop. They are so vivid, sweating so much. I’ve just had enough.
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Former-Member @Sans911 💗💙💜💖❤💚💛💜
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Morning @Former-Member - I saw you've had a bad night. I'm hoping perhaps you're asleep right now. 💖💗💟💝
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Sans911wish I was able to get back to sleep. I just don't know what to do anymore. My head is so screwed up at the moment and I just don't have any answers left.
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Good morning @Sans911 @Former-Member and @outlander,
I'm just swinging past to say hi...so...HI! 
I noticed that each of you have expressed some concern lately that you have perhaps inadvertently caused offence to someone in Forum Land. Thus I wanted to let you know that you have certainly caused absolutely zero, zilch, zip offence to me. It is definitely tricky when people see conflict here in Forum Land and start fretting that they are somehow responsible. Obviously I can't speak for anyone else, but I really wanted to let you know that from my perspective all is well between me and each of you. 
I know that you all have a super lot going on right now and thus I truly hope that today has some good in it for you.
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Thanks @Phoenix_Rising, I hope you have a good day
