RE: Darkness surrounds me

@Former-Member Most of my muddle is due to my experiences IN the mental health system. I'm not sure why anyone at SANE thought it was a bright idea to post that. I have gone from having a playful chat with Zoe, to rocking and stimming and dealing with flashbacks. That's not ok. I had a post pulled from the forum once because I gave too much detail of my experiences in a psych ward, which was considered potentially triggering to others. I have no idea why anyone at SANE would think that was a good thing to post on FB. Why the hell would anyone look at going into a public psych ward after reading that!

Angry turtle!

@outlanderoh sis that is super sad to treat somone like that near the end of their life. I am glad your Aunty and your mum are going to complain. And well done for you on writing a complaint letter. Using your emotions in such a positive way. But still totally upsetting for you, your family and your Nan

@Phoenix_RisingI hope I didn't trigger you by saying something here, and then you went and read it. I'm super sorry if that was the case. It's just I normally like reading the SANE links on facebook and the heading of the article was completly different to what the article contained. I am defiently not going now unless they force me in there. I have retreated to my bed with the doona over my head. I will sit here with you.

The one I was at @outlander they offer placements for those who want to do assistant in nursing at Tafe,where the nursing home gets government money for training.These people basically have no qualifications when they go in.I cleaned there and I was hopeless at laundry.For 92 residents,they allowed 6.5 hrs for 1 person to do all their personal stuff, tablecloths,linen,bibs,etc.and go around delivering it.... ridiculous.The cleaning was the same.They are after money @outlander at the end of the day.

@Owlunar
What a surprise, how lovely of you to care about me that way?
I have never had much if any support in my life so far?
Most people that I have interacted with, whether family, work buddies, or even neighbours, show little or no interest in me & my well being. I think its because from what I have been told by the occasional acquaintance, You don't need help? You don't look sick? You are a strong person? or I am/they are, jealous of you? or I don't want the responsibility, you can do it yourself.
I'm not into conflict, & strife, ever if someone takes it that way? I would rather just walk away. I have done that so many times, just walked away. I'm sick of that trashy life style. I have too soft of a heart to be treated that way. I end up I in tears & depressed over people/person, that don't care if they never saw, or heard from me, again. Heart hearted people.
I will never be hard hearted, I am self protective now. I would have done anything, & did, for the ones I love, & care about.
I only ever had one true loving caring friend is my life. She died at a very young age from injuries due to a serious car accident she was involved in. She ended up with MI & terrible Chronic pain similar to what I go through, yet she was 10 times worse than what I live with.
Only she, & I understood each other, & saw the true heart in each other.
An amazing gift to find someone that I & she, could connect in loving friendship like minded, yet with our own special personal gifts. I miss her every minute of every day?
We met at the same Rehab Centre, & our lives changed forever, for the better. I went into shock when her father came down to give me the news that she died.
My mum whom I had an unbreakable Spiritual bond with, died while I was visiting her in Hospital 2 weeks before Christmas. The My soul sister died from a heart attack in the car, a few month later. I lost the 2 of them, my other close friend died the end of that same year. My brother/inlaw, 12 months after mum. I could not walk from back injuries, all I could do was to hang on to the furniture to move around in this house. I had to give up the best job in MH that I had ever had in my life.
I have been stuck here isolated alone, apart from my Fur Family.
Not one of my 5 sisters have offered to do any thing foe me, or help me financially, they are all wealthy. One is a Millionaire, she wouldn't ever loan me some money, $80, to have my washing machine fixed?
I was told I was depressing her, because I have Chronic pain & take High strength pain meds????
I just gave up caring, even tho my heart is aching bad.
I don't want to say anymore about why I have Night Terrors, as it only gets worse believe me Dec?
I just have to try my best daily to be happy, & have fun, the best way that I can. I will not live feeling sorry for myself, no way!
Well there you have it, I have shared some of the baggage that I have dumped on you. I don't feel good about doing that either.
I hate doing it, actually.

But I love you, thanx for your time & care!
Love & Hugs
Bella XO 🙂
I had only just begun to build a successful work life in MH.
If you get a clear picture from how I described it?

@Phonenix_Rising
I haven't read this articale, yet to me it looks like someone is a little envious of you, maybe?
To do that to you, really, as I see it, is an underhanded compliment.
You must be doing something outstanding in/for MH ?
That's why you are getting made public display of.
Just take it as a BIG compliment if who ever went to all that trouble to nit pick!

((((((BIGHUGS))))
Love Always!
Bella XO 🙂

Everything has gone wrong tonight and I can’t do a thing about it. I have lost all control and hate that. I am so sorry to all😥