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RE: Darkness surrounds me
6693 replies
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
♥️ @Former-Member ..... baby steps will get you there ..... when and as you can.
You may be surprised at how much empathy your friends have for you ...... how much they cherish you and want to help to heal your pain and sense of shame ...... pain and shame you should never have had to carry.
You may be surprised at how much empathy your friends have for you ...... how much they cherish you and want to help to heal your pain and sense of shame ...... pain and shame you should never have had to carry.
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Faith-and-Hopethanks
Heading to gp now, will see how I go
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Sending you big strong thoughts of courage @Former-Member ...... even if you can only take a baby step today ...... do whatever you can manage Hon ......
♥️
♥️
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Former-Member - I agree, that with MI comes a level of shame & embarrassment about being in that position & needing help. But you, nor anyone else with MI asks to be that way, and I see as it if hospital is what it is to keep you safe and alive, then take it. It might feel difficult for your husband at first, but I'm sure right now he's worried he may loose you forever. And your children will understand in their own, unique way. It's not you that wants to die, Nell, it's your unbearable pain and suffering. I get that you want to give up trying. But what then? You give up, nothing changes, nothing gets better, you continue to suffer, or you don't suffer by removing yourself from this world. But a bright spark goes out with that, and the world is slightly less of a better place without you.
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Well I should be happy because I didn't want to go to hospital but in a way I knew it would be safer for me. But for some reason I just feel let down now. I am not a risk enough becasue I don't have a "plan" and have a support system already in place. And you know what I get told, just keep reaching out for support until I see my psychologist on Wednesday. Oh and also get the lecture that there are other ways to distract myself instead of self harm. REALLY, like never knew that! What the f**k have I been trying to do today without any success. I am over it well and truely. Done with it all.
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Former-Member,got no answer for you,but from my experience if I can't find direction in my life,no smart a**,with their opinions and judgements are help.My helplessness helped a few egos and bank accounts,that was My GP was the same last week,and I know he has no f***** idea about mental illness when he said "so you are better?", because the only thing they know is to above a script for antidepressants,which I know won't help because it's my shit circumstances.
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Oh wow .....
I can understand the feeling of let down @Former-Member ..... I am still reeling from one last week. Different story, but very humiliating and painful ...... 😔 .... I just wanna hug you !! I know it doesn't make any of it better in this moment, but pain is pain, and shame is shame, and it's hard allowing ourselves to be that vulnerable ......
But you showed up @Former-Member ...... you stepped into the arena, and that gp better have heard you ...... I'm guessing sometimes they don't even know what to say other than repeat a sort of mantra themselves .....
Can you stay on here with us tonight ? It's still early here, and I have to (eventually) get my toish back home and cook something for dinner ..... but I will try to post some more artwork on the art thread.
I am at the shops now, picking up some watercolour pencils and paper to have a go at an elephant ...... I will post it in the art thread ..... hopefully tonight.
♥️
I can understand the feeling of let down @Former-Member ..... I am still reeling from one last week. Different story, but very humiliating and painful ...... 😔 .... I just wanna hug you !! I know it doesn't make any of it better in this moment, but pain is pain, and shame is shame, and it's hard allowing ourselves to be that vulnerable ......
But you showed up @Former-Member ...... you stepped into the arena, and that gp better have heard you ...... I'm guessing sometimes they don't even know what to say other than repeat a sort of mantra themselves .....
Can you stay on here with us tonight ? It's still early here, and I have to (eventually) get my toish back home and cook something for dinner ..... but I will try to post some more artwork on the art thread.
I am at the shops now, picking up some watercolour pencils and paper to have a go at an elephant ...... I will post it in the art thread ..... hopefully tonight.
♥️
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
If you feel unsafe @Former-Member, anytime just walk into the hospital as if I feel if you are with these professionals too long,their attitude can thwart their judgements and thus duty of care.
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Thanks @Former-Member should have known better, havent had the best of luck with GP's. Looks like that it not changing.
Thanks @Faith-and-Hope I was quite honest and all I felt like I got was scolded for SH. I don't think he knew what to say, won't be going back there. That's another GP I can cross off the list.
Thanks for your support, would love to see some of your art work, but no pressure for tonight!!
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Hi @Former-Member,
To be totally honest with you, that is the response I was anticipating you would get from your GP. The system is so totally and unbelievably messed up. Back when I used to "reach out," I never got admitted to hospital when I tried to seek help there. In my experience, the attitude is that if you are asking for help, then you aren't really at risk, but then if you act on the urges and get taken to hospital, then you get shamed for acting on them. We simply cannot win. 
I am so very very grateful for Forum Land. I super hope you can continue to feel supported here @Former-Member.
