RE: Darkness surrounds me

Thanks @CheerBear I try not to tag people in things I write because I know they are going through difficult times themselves. I guess I don't want them to have to deal with my baggage as well.

But then again I am like that in real life too. Trying to shield people from my problems.

I hate having panic attacks and they do leave you exhausted afterwards. I was already on edge today anyway but it was only a stupid bloody ad that tipped me today!!

But what about you, how are you going?

You're right @CheerBear panic attacks do suck!

Im sorry to hear that your day has been shaky. If you want to talk about it you can, it's not all about my crappy day!

I wish I had discovered this forum 4 months ago. I think it would have really helped me back then and maybe I would not have bottled things up for such a long time. I hate that other people are going through some terrible things in their lives, but I find acceptance in knowing that I am not the only one feeling like this or having these thoughts.

@CheerBear I don't read back on people's threads to find out what has brought them here. I guess I figure if they want to tell me they can, if not then it's their choice.

I am happy to tell people what brought me here, I can do that in a few sentences without causing me any distress, but I understand for some people that talking about why they are here is distressing for them, so I don't want to ever impose on someone like that.

I find that I can be very honest on here, much more than I can with my husband. But I think it's a lot to do with him not understanding (even though he tries) what I am going through, and also trying to protect him.

Hopefully your shaky week is over soon and you have been getting the support that all of us deserve.

I get what you're saying about not wanting to impose by asking why people are here @Former-Member. It could be a tricky thing to bring up for both the person asking and answering.

My story is buried somewhere else now but I'm here with sometimes shaky MH stuff from living in an abusive relationship and then leaving our life because of it. That's the short, it's ok for me and i hope it's ok for you version 🙂

It's really helpful to have a place to be honest and share things that aren't often easily understood (or are missed/overlooked/hard for others etc).

Do you think your husband trying to understand? There are resources and services that might be able to help him understand better if he wants them, or that can support him (to support you and him). It would be hard for both of you.

I am sorry to hear @CheerBear that you had to go through that in your life. But I am happy to hear that you had the courage and strength to leave.

My story is that I went through a big trauma at work about 6 months ago. It was not the first workplace trauma I had gone through but was the worst. From this I started having flashbacks from when I was sexually abused by a family member at the age of 8 for about 2.5 years. It was something I had buried for so long, but resurfaced about 5 months ago. So I am still in the process of learning about my diagnosis, what help I can get and what it means for me in the future.

He is trying to understand what he knows. He does not know about the early childhood trauma. This will be told to him in my psychologists office soon.

Thanks for listening @CheerBear and for making tonight a bit easier for me. Hope you have a good sleep 💤💤💤💤