RE: Darkness surrounds me

"It takes time" is all I hear these days. It takes time to see someone, it takes time for these meds to work, it takes time for everthing. But what happens if you don't have that time left. What happens if you feel like your time has ran out. They say it will get worse before it gets better. I cannot image it getting any worse than this, and then if it does, what then, do I just have to wait again. All I am left with is hope, hope that what they have planned for me works. And if it doesn't what then, am I just mean to wait again. Hope doesn't last forever and I feel it leaving my body with every nightmare and flashback. That light is being distinguished and once it has gone, and I am in eternal darkness, does that light ever appear again. I can't see it happening. So all I feel now is pain, pain that it will never get better, pain that if I continue to exist that this will be my life. I don't choose that.

Thanks @Ant7

@Ant7no not really

Just had enough of life. Why does it have to be so hard sometimes. Went up the street today and saw all these happy people and thought why can't I be one of them. Instead of stuck here waiting for these stupid meds to start working. Can be another 3 weeks before they kick in and I am meant to just wait. I don't want to wait anymore.

Thanks @Ant7 does suck at times.

Just having a "why me" moment whilst I wait for my sleeping meds to hopefully kick in!

@Ant7no you shouldn't fell bad about having them. As you said we all have them, we just probably have them more than others. How are you going anyway?