RE: Darkness surrounds me

@Bubbles3sorry to hear about your mum and the affect she has on you.

Sometimes people don't know what to say or how to act around people with MI. Can your husband try and talk to her for you and find out why she is acting this way. Maybe he might be able to explain it from your point fo view. Big hugs

I can't get my words out anymore, I can't calm down, I need to go

@Former-Member Nononono! Where will you go?

I'm sorry @Bunniekins i just cant

Don't be sorry I will be a quiet little pea and say nothing will be here until I have to go to my psychiatrist.

hello @Bubbles3

I am sorry to hear that your family are adding to your emotional dilemma....

sadly....that is what some familiies do....

especially those who do not understand the concept of mental illness....don't want to even mention the dreaded word as though it might be infectious....

they are actually frightened.....it is way out of their depth....they cannot cope as they can't fix it.....so they sometimes avoid either talking about the subject or by avoiding the person...

not about you.....about your mum.....

my family treated me that way for many years......I was never able to talk about my suffering....when hospitalised I was never visited or received even a card from them

I learnt to live my life around that...yes it hurt ....it did help me to tell myself that they had to do something about .change...not me...their issue

I did tell my sons about my illness and hospitalisation again just under four years ago....they are both concerned......younger one brought me beautiful flowers and a gorgeous big teddy bear....I was on cloud nine....such a proud mum

I was only talking about this very subject with my psychiatrist today.......as my sister is not talking to me yet again....she tries to control me and I will not allow this anymore......She doesn't know how to deal with the new me....

that might also be the case with your mother....she might be struggling with the new emerging...bubbles

whatever the situation ....yes it hurts...yes acknowledge that....know that you must be true to yourself...if someone struggles with that...they need to deal with it

self-reassurance can help in the long run

keep on posting....here you will be listened to and respected

You've got nothing to be sorry about @Bunniekins good luck with your psych appointment. Thanks for all your help. I just got nothing