RE: Darkness surrounds me

@Former-Member ❤️

Its ok @Former-Member. It will be ok. ❤❤ youve sone what you can. Kids are fine. Hubbys out. Have some you time. Do whatever you like to do as long as its safe that is.
Hugs and hugs ❤❤

@Former-Member it's totally understandable that you were knocked for six ..... and your feelings in the moment were what they were ..... please don't self-blame over what you should or shouldn't have done ..... it was likely your hurt inner child responding at that moment, and she needs to hear that her feelings were valid, and it was okay that she couldn't then take in the funeral service, and that it's okay that your adult strength left you in that moment ..... it's something that will need to be worked up to, I imagine, with the support of your counsellors.

Hugs and hugs @Former-Member ..... you were blind-sided by this.

@Former-Member please try to be gentle on yourself. Like you said, it came as a shock. You have every right to feel angry and upset but direct that back at the person who abused you. I think if I see my perpetrator I probably deck him. Thankfully the other one is dead now..

You're particularly vulnerable right now, with dealing with new information, dealing with anxiety, PTSD and everything else. Vulnerability does not mean we are weak. It just means are defences are down and we're more open to attack or triggers and we have less strength to deal with them.

Just think back to that 9year girl. If you know what had happened to her, what do you think you might say to her? Would you tell her it's not her fault, that she is still very much loved and respected?

I understand you feel worthless and powerless. But I assure you, that you are neither of these. You did a very brave & powerful thing today, and stayed as long as you could. That's very courageous of you. And you are not worthless. You are a beautiful person inside and out. A great mother who cares deeply for her children and only wants the best for them. You are a wonderful wife who loves her husband, and wants to protect him from your pain. And you're a great friend inside these forums caring for others, being there for them, making people feel valued and cared for and heard. You are funny, intelligent and kind.

So go easy on yourself. Today was really tough. And yes your still here. Use the helplines as much as possible. Talk it out here. Keep yourself safe. Hugs and hugs my angel.

Looks like @Sans911 was writing the same thing at the same time. Look at that ..... ❣️

That's because your two great, caring compassionate minds think alike!

@Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member Yes, I posted my response & saw f&h was pretty much the same.

Hugs @Former-Member ❤