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RE: Darkness surrounds me
6693 replies
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Former-Member You, and everyone with MI has to navigate unchartered waters that are often choppy and murky. So yes, it's a work in progress to steer through these times. And it's normal too to feel weak, ashamed and often angry at seeking help. I struggle immensely with seeking help as being a nurse, I feel I ought to know how to fix myself. I even had a doctor tell me last year exactly that. But I'm learning that even my own knowledge can't fix things I had no control over, as I was just a child, and I was not responsible for how others treated me.
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
oh @Sans911 that is terrible for a doctor to say something like that. I think it probably makes you more vunlerable especially since you witness things daily especially in your line of work.
I always think that I help students with trauma and SH so I should know better. If a student is reported to me for SH I have to go through a safety checklist. I sit there and speak to my students about alternates to SH and try and help them, yet I do it too myself. I put myself through the same thing I am trying to help my students stop.
Without us both going into detail and me not knowing all of your story (I don't expect you to tell me either), I understand "i was just a child". No you were not reponsilbe for how others treated you, but if it is like me, there are still feelings or guilt/shame around it. 
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Former-Member yep, totally understand what you are saying. And I agree completely, nothing is ever that simple, easy or black & white. If only everything was that easy to fix.
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
yep and @Sans911 if it was an easy fix, I guess none of us would be in forum land!
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
ideasladySenior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Hi @Former-Member and everyone,
Glad you got through yesterday Nell. I hope you can find peace and happiness and life purpose. Sorry, I'm going into my own healing world so might not be back here for a while💗
Glad you got through yesterday Nell. I hope you can find peace and happiness and life purpose. Sorry, I'm going into my own healing world so might not be back here for a while💗
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Thanks @ideaslady
Take care of yourself, we will always be here when you come back. Big hugs to you
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@ideaslady I hear your struggles & we'll be here whenever you need us again. Take care hun
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Was just surfing away on the net and came across this image. I am sure alot can relate to this. This is what inside of my head feels like at the moment. It made me giggle, not sure if that is a good thing or a sad thing.
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Former-Member yep, that's kinda about right. I feel looking at that it's like where does everything begin and where is the end?
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
you got that right @Sans911, I found it at a good time. I might take a copy of it and take it to my next psych session and tell him thats what is going on inside my head!
How are you going today, have you slept at all?
