MY STORY - THE JOURNEY HAS JUST BEGUN

@Former-Member

sorry to hear people called the police on you. That is a terrible thing of them to do and makes people who are suffering even more disinclined to reach out for help. I hate the guise of 'it's confidential, talk to us, we are here to help you' when they are really just out to dob on you. These people probably think they mean well but they are doing the worst thing possible and totally destroying people. I have learnt that you do have to be very very careful who you talk to. Your story as a teacher sounds like you have had a tough time lately. Try to be kind to yourself and do nice things for yourself.

Thanks @MaryMahem,

I can certainly relate to trying to find the new me, I'm just not sure what the new me looks like at the moment. I guess it is something that is going to take a long time to work out.

I am not sure if I will ever go back to teaching at this stage. It seems that the things we have to deal with is so much more than just in the classroom. When I first started teaching there was no way at all that I thought I would experience and witness the things that I saw. Some of it seems so surreal sometimes. And the sad things is, is that I think I had grown so used to witnessing/experiencing/hearing trauma related things that nothing seemed to shock me anymore. It was like I had come 'used' to it.

Nell

Thanks @girl99,

i think the disappointing things is, is that it made everything worse. And now when things get really bad, I doubt that I will reach out for help again in case it happens again.

@Former-Member

Hi Nell23, I hope things are a little better for you today?

Yes, if there is one thing I could say to people who genuinely want to help someone with mental health issues is DO NOT DOB ON THEM. It's a total breach of trust and you will never be trusted again.

Thanks @girl99

Today has been pretty crappy. Got the kids to school and picked them up. Luckily I didn't have to get out of the car because was still in pj's.

I feel like I am surrounded by family but feel so lonely at the same time. Some of which is my fault becasue I have pushed so many people away lately. I struggle to let people in now more than ever. It seems that no-body undertands what I am going through which is one of the reasons I joined this forum - to perhaps find people who do understand without me having to explain.

@Former-Member

I think you should be proud that you at least got your children to school! When my child was young I had plenty of those days when I was lucky to get my child to school. I hate the early mornings and I really didn't like making school lunches and preparing meals. I find self care so very very hard (like showering, getting dressed, eating), let alone looking after others. There are plenty of us on here who understand this. I just wish there was a medicine that would make everything better

Ok, so I am going to continue with my story!

So I mentioned I am on work cover and am seeing a psychologist.

So today I get a call from work cover. They want me to go see a psychiatrist of thier choosing in a couple of weeks to get assessed. My anxiety level went from about an 8/10 to about a 15/10.

Firstly, I haven't seen a psychiatrist before so have no idea what to expect

Secondly, it took me about 6 sessions until I felt comfortable telling my psychologist everything. I am the type to just say "i'm fine" and put a fake smile on my face. Opening up to someone, especially about my past trauma's has been extrememly difficult. I guess I am afraid that I will go into the appointment, say I am ok and then my work cover be knocked back. Not that I like being on work cover, I would much rather be working, but that is just not possible at the moment.

So on top of trying to deal with everything else, lets just throw this into it too. I don't even know the difference between the two.

@Former-Member

Oh dear that is very anxiety provoking! For what it's worth, I have been sent to a number of psychiatrists for this purpose. You asked what is the difference between a psychiatrist and a psychologist. A psychiatrist is a specialist medical doctor who has speciality expertise and training in mental health, psychological problems and 'mental illness' and can prescribe drugs for you. A psychologist is not a doctor at all and cannot prescribe drugs - they do mainly talk therapy - talking through your problems and counselling. Some psychiatrists might also do talk therapy, but their focus seems to be on medication. The insurers usually pay 'Independent medical examiners' (IMEs) to write a report about you to decide about your case. The insurers will send you to this psychiatrist who will interview you and ask you questions. Please talk to your psychologist and your GP before you go to this meeting (about what you should and should not say at this appointment) and be very prepared. Are you a member of a union? Try to see if you can see a lawyer too before your psychiatric appointment. These appointments can be quite serious and the reports are held on file. The best thing I can suggest is don't be scared of the process but BE PREPARED. Google about it. Read other's stories. I'm happy to answer any questions you may have about this process and there are others on here who can give help too. Quite a few of us have been through this. You will be okay.