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not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor04 Aug 2017, 8:11 pm AEST

not coping

im not coping

i cant handle all of these things

besides my mental health deteriorating so dramatically, and my physicall health floating up the creek

and now within the past few hours

my great grandmother now is in a nursing home and they dont know how long she has left and to make thigns worse i think i have to put my beleoved horse down.

we just had vets out and spend the last 4 hours trying to save my horse. its been 2 hours and went back to check on her and its not looking good.

not good at all 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞

i dont know what to do or how to feel, im a complete mess 😞

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In response to: not coping

SnowieSenior Contributor23 Apr 2020, 3:33 pm AEST

Re: not coping

It is frustrating @outlander

I just wish I wasn't here

Well done on getting your assignment done hun, sometimes it is hard to find that motivation to keep going. Maybe just do a bit at a time so it doesn't seem as overwhelming. Not that I can talk, can't even get motivated to do a jigsaw puzzle 😒

Gee hun, your car sounds like a money pit atm, hoping it isn't too expensive to get fixed.

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor23 Apr 2020, 3:40 pm AEST

Re: not coping

yeah I get that too @Snowie
not wanting to be here is swirling around a lot for me too. its hard isn't it.

im not overly stressed about getting the assignments done, theres not a huge timeline or anything on it but theres 5 assignments with each one having 6 (sometimes broken into A and B so more then just 6 tasks) just for this module. before moving onto the next one.

I never really got into jigsaw puzzles tbh, it would take me days to finish one even a smaller sort cause I wouldn't find the motivation to do it.
maybe theres something else that your more interested in doing atm like your cross stitch or scrapbooking or something..

yeah this car is seriously costing a fortune,im still going to have it till around july though so ill prob get it fixed slowly then itll add value to it esp since ive kept receipts for everything.

In response to: Re: not coping

SnowieSenior Contributor23 Apr 2020, 3:52 pm AEST

Re: not coping

It is hard @outlander

It won't leave and just continues to get stronger.

That is still a lot of work for you to do hun. Just a bit at a time and I have no doubt you will get through it all.

I can't seem to get motivated to do anything lately, have been very unmotivated.

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor23 Apr 2020, 4:03 pm AEST

Re: not coping

Its incredibly hard @Snowie
sometimes it takes all the energy we have to manage it and keep ourselves safe.

it is a lot of work, I may need @Sans911 help for a few questions if it get too stuck on them 😬

im tossed between just hurry up and do it so I can focus on my health troubles atm but I also know that when im finished im more then likely going to need to find something else to do to keep occupied.
ive still got about a month and a half to go for this one though and will finish it with time to spare if I keep going at the rate I am now.

the motivation things bloody horrid, right now I feel like staying in bed for a few hours.. or days... or week.. or months... 🥴😏🤷‍♀️

In response to: Re: not coping

SnowieSenior Contributor23 Apr 2020, 4:10 pm AEST

Re: not coping

I am struggling with that hun, to keep safe @outlander Havent done a good job of it.

It is sometimes a fine line between keeping occupied and looking after ourselves. Yes it is good to keep busy but at the same time we need to look after ourselves first. Easy to say, hard to do.

I get the staying in bed. I force myself to get out of bed, shower, eat, all the normal things that are so hard to do at the moment. That takes enough of our energy.

I am glad you have @Sans911 around for help if you need it. I doubt I would be much help 🤦‍♀️

In response to: Re: not coping

Unknown userMember23 Apr 2020, 4:18 pm AEST

Re: not coping

Hi @outlander , with a wave to @Snowie @Sans911 @Bunniekins @Kurra , and others who have followed you to this thread. I was really sorry when reading about your usual thread being overtaken Outlander. But I might add that the two members using your other thread have found a safe place where they felt safe and welcome to exchange some pretty intense stuff. Of course no thread is 'owned' by any of us, and its great that they felt able to converse so openly on a thread you started. But ... like others I note ... much of the conversation there has been quite triggering and upsetting. So much so that I have not resubscribed to it after returning. I have subscribed to this thread though Outlander, so if you return to your other thread .. please tag me in. Are you comfortable now in sticking to this thread? I was wondering if perhaps you could put a 'link' to your other thread at the start of this thread? It may help you feel that you dont need to retell a lot of information you already have on that other thread. Just a thought.

So sorry to read that you have been so unwell physically @outlander . And this on top of a particularly triggering time for you around Easter with anniversaries etc all happening. As you know, our physical health has a definite link to our mental and emotional health. Emotional turmoil puts us at an increased risk of physical ailments. Really hope you get your results from ultrasound and blood tests quickly, and that they might offer a reason for the symptoms you've been displaying. I have to say that I have been worrying about you ... rather a lot lately.

Anyway, must go now. Wanted you to know though, that I have been following along with you (and others here) and that I care a great deal for you all.

Sherry

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor23 Apr 2020, 4:21 pm AEST

Re: not coping

my own SH habits are starting to resurface esp his last month, im trying to get back out of it again since I was at 6 months sh free beforehand. I think the pain ive been in has distracted me from the urges thankfully so has given me a few days head start on managing it. As much as we try to control it though, it seems to come back, it very frustrating and just feels like 1 step forward but 10 steps back. 😞

yeah @Snowie
I love my studies but sometimes it feels too much too. I wish my mind would be easy to settle though. I get bored super easy even when im very tired or in pain but then the lacking energy and motivation comes out and starts to drive me crazy. the crocheting comes in handy sometimes though but ive lost the motivation to do it abit. my aunt put in an order for me and I started it but I think its going to take forever to do esp the since she wants. possibly a motivator destroyer too.

youd be able to help with some things im sure like the anatomy things but I think im alright with that its only when hey get super into it and want every damn nerve and crap named I get stuck.
the harder part for me is actually breaking down the medical terms. I get some of the words but some are questionable whether they are broken down correct or not.

In response to: Re: not coping

SnowieSenior Contributor23 Apr 2020, 4:41 pm AEST

Re: not coping

I wish you didn't understand @outlander but thanks. My SI is high and is starting to worry me. It feels like that hole is just getting deeper and no way out, and chat has been offline most of the day.

Sorry, this is getting a bit dark, perhaps I just need to shut it 😥

I'm glad you have your studies and crocheting to keep you company but I understand about that lack of motivation. I'd be able to help with anatomy (studied it at uni) but not the medical terms, lucky you have Sans for that.

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor23 Apr 2020, 4:48 pm AEST

Re: not coping

hey @Former-Member
nice to see you here

yeah im fine on this thread, ive unsubscribed from that thread as well because its too much for me.

ive made an appointment for Monday morning to see the gp. had to put up with being growled at over the phone by reception because I asked to come in rather then speaking over the phone. im aware of the risks of coming in but I didn't think there was a need to be growled at even after explaining I find it to hard to discuss results like this over the phone esp with not even knowing this gp either (mine just left without even telling me even though she knew months and months in advance and had told her other patients as found out through my nurse)

I managed half a piece of fruit for lunch, not sure how ill go for a second meal now but ive really reduced everything including what ive been drinking (which also includes water as well) because of it. its not going to be sustainable for a long time so I hope the results either show something or he will be able to run some more tests that might show something quite quickly. its been 6 days of this. the pains not as bad today though which is good.

In response to: Re: not coping

WennaSenior Contributor23 Apr 2020, 4:48 pm AEST

Re: not coping

Hi Snowie, look out for an email I am about to send you. Cheers Wenna

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