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Something’s not right

not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor04 Aug 2017, 8:11 pm AEST

not coping

im not coping

i cant handle all of these things

besides my mental health deteriorating so dramatically, and my physicall health floating up the creek

and now within the past few hours

my great grandmother now is in a nursing home and they dont know how long she has left and to make thigns worse i think i have to put my beleoved horse down.

we just had vets out and spend the last 4 hours trying to save my horse. its been 2 hours and went back to check on her and its not looking good.

not good at all 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞

i dont know what to do or how to feel, im a complete mess 😞

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In response to: not coping

AppleblossomSenior Contributor27 July 2020, 4:39 pm AEST

Re: not coping

@Lee82

Those are great ideals for parenting. Very similar to the way I thought back over 30 years ago when I began my parenting journey and still think them.

I never push the concept of forgiveness as I was probably damaged by it too much growing up. I am too forgiving and it is a fault.

Ideals are important. We strive, but cannot completely control the end results in parenting and nor should we, as the whole concept of being self sufficient and caring etc, requires each individual to do some of the work, child, prebuscent, adolescent or adult. Yesterday I saw a very cute 5 year old kick her 8 year old brother, behind her mother's back but in full view of me, so I discussed it with mother and the little girl heard. I think that is enough for that age, to know we are not totally blind. Same as I do not believe in forgiveness, I do not believe in punishment. Life can be punishing enuff. I just try and understand enough to make sense of a mad world without caving into serious psychosis.

I have received very little support for the things I have endured in my life. People seem more comfortable with those who have had a similar level of privilege or pain.

Take Care ALL

@Snowie @NatureLover @Former-Member @outlander

In response to: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor27 July 2020, 5:38 pm AEST

Re: not coping

@Lee82 @NatureLover @Snowie @Sans911 🤍💛💙

In response to: Re: not coping

Lee82Senior Contributor27 July 2020, 5:44 pm AEST

Re: not coping

@outlander How you doing hun?

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor27 July 2020, 6:09 pm AEST

Re: not coping

Struggling a little but still managing ok @Lee82 have your flashbacks eased

In response to: Re: not coping

Lee82Senior Contributor27 July 2020, 6:30 pm AEST

Re: not coping

I'm so sorry to hear that @outlander

FB have eased a little I am just exhausted now.

In response to: Re: not coping

Lee82Senior Contributor27 July 2020, 6:33 pm AEST

Re: not coping

Thank you for your support and for your words of wisdom @Appleblossom

parenting is a very hard journey to navigate through never knowing what is right and what is wrong. I'm trying my best but fear my best is not good enough

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor27 July 2020, 6:55 pm AEST

Re: not coping

Im glad theyve eased a little @Lee82 im not surprised your exhausted. They are tiring to manage.
I was just reading your question on why you think dissociation might happen. I have learnt from myself past therapist and from others on here that its a coping mechanism. When im so overwhelmed i can barely think i often dissociate, its my brains way of saying no more stress (or whatever emotion) and i also dissociate esp aeound traumatic aniversaries or triggers. Its basically my brains way of coping with the trauma i experienced. I either have flashbacks or i dissociate. I use to dissociate sometimes when it was happening too because my brain couldnt cope so it shut off and went to 'another place'. Not sure it that makes sense

In response to: Re: not coping

AppleblossomSenior Contributor27 July 2020, 6:57 pm AEST

Re: not coping

@Lee82 The world is changing so fast at the moment, it is difficult to know exactly what to prepare our children for ... so I went for a broad skill base, rather than specialisation. Choices are up to them.

I gave myself a HARD time for LONG time about not living up to my ideals, but fear is crippling and so I continue to struggle against it. Sometimes it wins.

The promised land ... is in the future, we cant know exactly which decisions have which effects ... hindsight is not an option with kids. We are all flying blind to some extent.

In response to: Re: not coping

Lee82Senior Contributor27 July 2020, 7:07 pm AEST

Re: not coping

That makes perfect sense @outlander

i am feeling extremely nauseous right now. My jaw is really sore from clenching too tight and I have massive cramps in my stomach and I am shaking uncontrollably. I am just so over it outlander.

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor27 July 2020, 7:15 pm AEST

Re: not coping

I know @Lee82 its really hard.
Have you got a heatpack? If you do maybe put it on your jaw for a while to release the tension and on your stomach for a while too if you can handle it.

You need to find some ways to soothe yourself and your emotions so that your body can rest and recover. Itll help with the shaking, tension cramping and hopefully in time the nausea too. I know its hard to fight all the time, ive learnt that sometimes you just need to soothe and float for a while.

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Torres Strait Islander flag

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.