not coping

Hi @Appleblossom thank you for your post. Yes it is a lot of work. I am just feeling like I am not doing a great job at the moment. They deserve the best and I feel like I am not giving them that.

That's great news @outlander I'm glad you will have tonight off.
thank you for your help and support. It is really appreciated and doesn't go unnoticed. I just don't have anyone irl to talk to about all this.
I think I have scared @NatureLover off...I'm so sorry hun. I didn't mean for things to get so heavy.

I am not sure that children deserve the best of everything all the time. @Lee82 I think that breeds a sense of over entitlement. They deserve your best, and that is good enough. Your best as human, who needs rest, respect and time out. I read in a parenting book a long time ago... it can be helpful to grade attention from A -Z. They dont need to be centre of attention all the time.

Developing realistic expectations is huge and forgiving ourselves as parents is huge too, and maybe forgiving our parents. There is no perfect, and perfect can breed perfect little beasts ... Sorry I am old and a teacher ... and seen too much to over romanticise childhood. I saw some of the best behaviour in childrens orphanages but have to endure idiot shows like Law and Order ... over generalising about people from those kind of backgrounds. Thats where I stand anyway. I also am over adult people going on about their own particular kids and not having a broader social conscience. There are a lot of little and big kids in the world.

Take Care.

@Lee82im not sure if you got the notification before but Naturelove has an online video meeting so had to go for for a while.

You can always talk here. I mean im not a parent but can always listen and share what i know 💜

Thank you @outlander for letting me know. I didn't know that about @NatureLover . Just as long as I didn't scare her away.
I just don't want to make the same mistakes my mum did. Although I have a somewhat close relationship with my mum these days I haven't and will never forgive her for what she put me through. That all still affects me very much these days.
I want to be able to teach my children the right way to be in life. How to be good humans, independent, kind considerate caring and self sufficient. I want to give them the best upbringing in the sense that I want to show them how to be domesticated. I want to show them to always strive for the best, work hard and treat others with respect. Teach them to be active and not just lazy people with zero motivation. I want to show them that life is great and not to be taken for granted. I want to show them to love. I feel like I am not doing that because truth be told I don't feel that way about life myself although I know that's the way I should feel.
@Appleblossom

Hi, I'm back, no you didn't scare me away at all, @Lee82 I tagged you that I had a scheduled video chat (thanks, @outlander )... I think it's fantastic, those things you want to teach your kids. If you don't think you feel them, then that would make it harder. I just wonder if you are trying to be perfect, when no-one is perfect? We are all just scrabbling along as best we can...

Hi @Lee82

I am sorry to hear how challenging things have been. As humans, we always want to improve and be the best version of ourselves, and especially for our kids. But, please remember to be kind to yourself and know that you are doing your best already 😊

Besides the forums, it sounds like it might be helpful to chat with someone about this. If you feel up to it I would strongly encourage you to have a chat with one of our SANE Help Centre Counsellors here. If you feel you’re unsafe it’s important to ring a crisis service : Lifeline (13 11 14) , Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467) or 000.

Take Care,

Peonies

Thanks @Former-Member I am trying my best to be kind to myself. Things are just quite tough at the moment. I will keep that in mind and will connect if needed.