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Something’s not right

not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor04 Aug 2017, 8:11 pm AEST

not coping

im not coping

i cant handle all of these things

besides my mental health deteriorating so dramatically, and my physicall health floating up the creek

and now within the past few hours

my great grandmother now is in a nursing home and they dont know how long she has left and to make thigns worse i think i have to put my beleoved horse down.

we just had vets out and spend the last 4 hours trying to save my horse. its been 2 hours and went back to check on her and its not looking good.

not good at all 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞

i dont know what to do or how to feel, im a complete mess 😞

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In response to: not coping

Lee82Senior Contributor27 July 2020, 1:09 pm AEST

Re: not coping

Well my meds have just been put up again so I have at least another 2 weeks before things start to improve. 😔

@NatureLover

In response to: Re: not coping

NatureLoverSenior Contributor27 July 2020, 1:12 pm AEST

Re: not coping

Bugger, @Lee82 ...

Do you need to talk? I can listen if you like...

In response to: Re: not coping

Lee82Senior Contributor27 July 2020, 1:15 pm AEST

Re: not coping

I am struggling with FB at the moment @NatureLover it is really affecting me. I just want to forget everything that has happened and be able to live a normal life. I am just so tired

In response to: Re: not coping

NatureLoverSenior Contributor27 July 2020, 1:18 pm AEST

Re: not coping

I'm really sorry to hear about the flashbacks... It must be exhausting.

I should know this already, but do you have a trusted counsellor to help work through things with? @Lee82

In response to: Re: not coping

Lee82Senior Contributor27 July 2020, 1:22 pm AEST

Re: not coping

I do @NatureLover i have a psychologist I see weekly. I just find it extremely difficult to talk about my abuse. I always end up having panic attacks and not much get discussed. I just don't know how to deal with it anymore

In response to: Re: not coping

NatureLoverSenior Contributor27 July 2020, 1:25 pm AEST

Re: not coping

Ohhh no, @Lee82 ...so sorry to hear. I want to give you a big (safe and gentle) hug and tell you it will get better...but I know it's not that easy in reality. It sounds really difficult 😥

In response to: Re: not coping

Lee82Senior Contributor27 July 2020, 1:28 pm AEST

Re: not coping

Thank you so much @NatureLover i would love a gentle hug right now. I am hiding under my blanket right now just don't wantr to face the world. I am suppose to be doing work with my son today but I can't seem to concentrate so I have given him the day off....😔 I feel like a terrible mother. It's just so difficult to be present at the moment.

In response to: Re: not coping

NatureLoverSenior Contributor27 July 2020, 1:33 pm AEST

Re: not coping

@Lee82 we can only do what we can do. Please don't beat yourself up - you are getting through incredibly difficult circumstances as best you can. I think your wellbeing is the most important thing, as you are the primary caregiver. There are surely many parents who can't be physically present to help their children with the home schooling at the moment...If you can't be mentally present all the time, it's OK, I reckon.

In response to: Re: not coping

Lee82Senior Contributor27 July 2020, 1:37 pm AEST

Re: not coping

I can't help but punish myself for not being able to do all the things a mother should do for her kids. They are starting to see and understand too much about my mental health. I hate that so much. They just would be so much better off without me around. I feel like I am dragging them down with me.
@NatureLover

In response to: Re: not coping

Lee82Senior Contributor27 July 2020, 1:41 pm AEST

Re: not coping

Sorry @outlander I feel like I have taken over your thread. I will move my conversation with @NatureLover to the darkness thread.
I hope you are doing ok hun. Am thinking of you always. 💗

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.