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Something’s not right

not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor04 Aug 2017, 8:11 pm AEST

not coping

im not coping

i cant handle all of these things

besides my mental health deteriorating so dramatically, and my physicall health floating up the creek

and now within the past few hours

my great grandmother now is in a nursing home and they dont know how long she has left and to make thigns worse i think i have to put my beleoved horse down.

we just had vets out and spend the last 4 hours trying to save my horse. its been 2 hours and went back to check on her and its not looking good.

not good at all 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞

i dont know what to do or how to feel, im a complete mess 😞

18135 replies

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In response to: not coping

Lee82Senior Contributor16 June 2020, 6:19 pm AEST

Re: not coping

Hey @outlander just popping to see how your doing?

In response to: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor16 June 2020, 9:26 pm AEST

Re: not coping

@Sans911 @Lee82 @Snowie @NatureLover @Maggie @Former-Member @Former-Member

💜❤💙🧡

In response to: Re: not coping

Lee82Senior Contributor16 June 2020, 9:28 pm AEST

Re: not coping

You ok @outlander ?

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor16 June 2020, 9:38 pm AEST

Re: not coping

no not really @Lee82 I cant talk about it here though. its too triggering. I just want everything over with.

In response to: Re: not coping

Lee82Senior Contributor16 June 2020, 9:41 pm AEST

Re: not coping

I'm so sorry hun. I wish there was more I could do for you. Sitting with my friend. @outlander

I understand the want to have all this over with. It's a daily battle and I'm so sorry you have to deal with everything you are going through so young hun. It's just not f**king fear. I wish I could take all your pain away. If I could I would.

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor16 June 2020, 9:51 pm AEST

Re: not coping

thanks @Lee82

I tried talking to a specialised counsellor about some of the flashbacks and nightmares that Im getting but it just made me more anxious and uncomfortable talking on the phone to them. I tried the webchat but to speak to a specialised counsellor you have to ring. I cant say to them what I wanted to over the phone. it is embarrassing, shameful and uncomfortable even though it has been pumped into my head it isn't my fault. right now it still feels like it is.

the daily battle is hard and this trigger has just made it so much harder. Im struggling to even have a shower at this point. I really should but I cant even do that.

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor16 June 2020, 10:04 pm AEST

Re: not coping

Theres many people having a hard time i dont want to add any more.

In response to: Re: not coping

Lee82Senior Contributor16 June 2020, 10:14 pm AEST

Re: not coping

You are not adding more to anything babe. You are struggling and we are all here to support you just like you have done in the past for us. I understand how hard it is to talk about flashbacks. Every time I try I end up having a massive panic attack. I do feel though if you can try and talk about it to someone it will help you desensitise yourself from it a little.
hun it's ok if you don't feel you can have a shower right now. You sitting and breathing is all you can manage that is something and enough so please don't beat yourself up about it. Sometimes that's all we can do and that is ok. I have those moments all of the time.
@outlander

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor16 June 2020, 10:19 pm AEST

Re: not coping

I spoke with a counsellor today and she said 'its normal to experience the sort im having even though its not nice but to speak with the specialised counsellor about ways to cope' @Lee82 i cant talk on the phone and sane chat is never working anymore.
I need to drive home now thankfully. Thanks for being here

In response to: Re: not coping

Lee82Senior Contributor16 June 2020, 10:27 pm AEST

Re: not coping

Please drive safe hun. Your welcome.
do you have a psychologist you regularly see? If not perhaps you should look into maybe trying to get to see one. I think I have read before that you feel like they don't help but perhaps you just haven't had the right one. Even if you see them a couple times just to have someone trained to help with this sort of thing. Someone that can maybe help with your thoughts and help to retrain your thoughts. It does take a very long time babe before anything starts to feel any different and it also takes a lot of personal work but I know you are more than capable of doing that cause you are a smart and determined person . You are also strong willed and strong minded.
@outlander take care on your way home

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.