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Something’s not right

not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor

not coping

im not coping

i cant handle all of these things

besides my mental health deteriorating so dramatically, and my physicall health floating up the creek

and now within the past few hours

my great grandmother now is in a nursing home and they dont know how long she has left and to make thigns worse i think i have to put my beleoved horse down.

we just had vets out and spend the last 4 hours trying to save my horse. its been 2 hours and went back to check on her and its not looking good.

not good at all 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞

i dont know what to do or how to feel, im a complete mess 😞

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In response to: not coping

Unknown userMember

Re: not coping

@outlander 💜💜💜

In response to: Re: not coping

SnowieSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

@outlander 💜💜💌

In response to: not coping

NatureLoverSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

I wish your mother was more supportive, @outlander 😞

And I'm so sorry that eating causes such pain for you. 😥 I hope the doctor's service do do home visits.

You're definitely not a burden, but I'm not overwhelmed tonight so am fine to listen and try to support you as best I can...I only wish more could be done to ease your pain and illnesses. 💔

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

@Former-Member @Snowie 💜💜

thanks @NatureLover i just checked and they aren't doing it tonight or tomorrow night so ill see how i go. i don't think the hospital will do much except run the tests again (if that) so im hesitant to go there. i might just take some pain relief and see if that helps, if not then call health direct and see what they suggest...

i don't know what or how to say anything else. i just have to keep myself safe and try to keep my own silly thoughts away. i wish sane chat was online, if i contact another helpline they always say 'use your coping strategies' and its not helpful at all and makes things worse.
im terrified of what the results might be but i need to find out what it is. it sounds so silly but if it comes back bad maybe someone will believe me when i say im unwell and cant do everything and will accept the answer 'no' when i say i don't want to watch the kids over night (that's what mum and i argued over and she says well then ill just bring them to your house and set them up in the lounge room its not that hard) its not about it being hard but i don't see why i have to watch them overnight. i said from the start im not watching them overnight (this is the 4th time ive told her this including today) but i cant turn them away from my house which i know that's exactly what she will do if her partner isn't going to be home

In response to: Re: not coping

SnowieSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

@outlander

I wish I could say something to make you feel better, but please know that I am here for you regardless of what is going on with me.

It is a shame your mum is treating you the way she is and relies on you so much, especially when you are as sick as you are.

Sitting with you sis 💜

In response to: Re: not coping

NatureLoverSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

Gosh, I feel like telling your mother to wake up and see what she's doing to you! 😮 @outlander

You carry incredible burdens, and I really hope someone will believe you soon that you can't do everything 💔 And that it doesn't take bad test results for them to believe you.

I'm sorry to hear about no home doctor visits...really hoping the pain relief works.

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

@Snowie @NatureLover
Thanks for your support and for being here

And @Lee82 @Former-Member

💙💚💖💜❤

In response to: Re: not coping

SnowieSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

It feels like same s**t, different day hun

You are right, I don't really want to sleep

I can understand about wanting a clean house hun. It is time however that you put your own needs first, you are more important then a clean house or washing getting done.

No groups on tomorrow (because it is Sunday) so will have to try and keep myself occupied and my mind distracted.

@outlander

In response to: Re: not coping

Unknown userMember

Re: not coping

My heart aches for you little one. I know this isn't helpful but your mum doesn't deserve you. For the life of me I can't understand why she doesn't see what's happening for you and you have actually told her in words as well. I am not the nurturing person Izzy is but even I can see you need far more support then you are getting. I believe Izzy has already told you that she would be proud to say you where her daughter and she is not wrong.

Mine you her as your mother might be to much, I can safely say that Izzy and your mother are polar opposites and Izzy's mothering might annoy the sh*t out of you. 💜Nikki

@outlander

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

it really does feel that way @Snowie it is so hard.
did H and kids end up going away this weekend like planned?

im trying to put myself first, im struggling to just sit and do nothing at all though. even if im tired or tired easy im not really one to just sit around and watch tv all day. its been so hard for me to be doing it so much more lately.
and having bad thoughts and worries about so many things I guess doing abit of cleaning within my limits is ok... I don't think ill do anymore tonight except put all my clothes away that have overflowed on my bed.


will you be having ect on Monday even though its a public holiday? or is it not a public holiday for vic?
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