not coping

I try sometimes @Lee82 but by the time I get the courage up I start to shake and get so anxious that I basically cant even speak that's why half the time I tell people things over a msg at least it gets out but sometimes I wish I felt to have a conversation with people.

I slept upright abit, but I just kept tossing as usual.

ive tried that @Lee82 but she like reads it and chucks it aside. anything to do with me is basically wiped aside unless I push my way in there it seems.
I guess ill see how tonight goes. I don't really know what else to say or how shes going to respond but I guess there sonly one way to find out. the hours are going so slowly tonight too so its making me a little anxious. she probably wont say anything.

There are many things I could say about your mother @outlander but I won't. But I am hearing everything you are saying.

Sweetheart, an emergency is when there is something wrong that is above the scope of a GP, and when delaying assessment would be detrimental to your health. What is happening for you right now warrants a trip to emergency. If you had a paper cut, that's not an emergency. Although some people seem to think so.

Do you think you might be able to go late morning tomorrow? Can pop manage for a while or his brother come over? Or your mother? Tell her you are experiencing intense pain beyond what you usually have & that you are going to the hospital. She will need to make arrangements for pop until you return. Don't argue or continue the conversation. Just leave. Get in your car and go.

I know it'll be hard on your own. But you are brave and strong, and you just need to present, tell them what happened, tell them you spoke to health direct and can you be seen. I find the easiest way to get through stuff that's difficult is to just be as objective as possible. Compartmentalise everything else. Put it into boxes in your brain until you need those things again.

If it helps, think of me (and others standing behind you). I can't make you go hun, but as someone who cares a great deal about you and is also a nurse, I think it's the right thing to do.

Hugs my lil Sis

I will try to go tomorrow morning sis @Sans911 pop should be ok on his own and his support worker will be there for 2 hours. mums suppose to work I think in the arvo. she asked me to stay overnight tomorrow night but I said no so I don't know if shes doing an earlier shift or something. im just scared.. I wish it would have gone away 2 weeks ago when I changed diets or the test come back for h/pylori cause it would've solved it.

how are you going tonight? @Sans911 what time do you leave tomorrow to travel to your uncles place?

Apart from feeling the cold tonight I'm alright. Quite tired too. I've been started on 2 weeks of antibiotics as I have a mild infection in my wounds. It was quite a wait at the clinic this morning. Then the nurse was in a rush after I saw the plastic surgeon and practically pushed me out the door. I was ready to leave by then as I was quite frustrated.

I'm leaving probably mid afternoon tomorrow - before 4pm my time. It gets dark here now around 5:30pm so I have to be careful as there are often kangaroos around dusk. I can't really feed Mr A too early but I will leave him enough food to get through until the next day.

@outlander

sorry about the infection, hopefully it clears up quickly @Sans911 must be abit uncomfortable too. did the surgeon say the community nurses would continue to come or was the session to rushed to really find out anything?

ah yeah watch out for the kangaroos, super dangerous when driving! please be super careful
yeah pets can make it a little tricky sometimes too, when I know ill be away for a day or 2 I always make sure the dog and bird are well sorted out.

if I drop out @Sans911 it means mums home cause she should be back in about 15 min and then ill see what happens after talking to her and then will head home.

Not uncomfortable with the infection at all @outlander. It's likely a chronic, low grade infection that's been there for months and is potentially hindering healing. Surgeon wasn't really going to do anything about it, but she wants them healed up. She is probably tired of seeing me. I go back to the clinic in 2 weeks. I will do the dressings one day with a antiseptic wash, and the community nurses will do every 2nd day. I'm not uncomfortable as the infection isn't obvious and I have no nerve sensations in the reconstruction areas. I don't feel any pain, sensations, nothing. It's helpful in one way. Not helpful if you are in a relationship though (that's never going to happen again for me. Confirmed spinster lol).