not coping

@outlander I'll probably not do too much after work today. I'm tired after watching the soccer last night. I was so hyped up from it and didn't get to sleep til a bit later than usual.

I might sit on the lounge and draw in the cute little notebook my daughter bought be for my birthday. It's so quiet in my house today. It's the first day my daughter has been back for a full uni day after her hip surgery. She's not that noisy or anything but it's kinda weird being here alone.

I hope work goes ok for you this evening ❤️

Hey @outlander ! How are you!?!?!

How's everything travelling for you at the moment?

Howdy @outlander

That sounds like a very helpful thing! I love the idea of combining different types of wellness an safety plans together. If you end up with a decent outcome, feel free to share (minus your answers, or anything you don't wanna share of course).

Could call it your Coping Cheat Sheet or something hehe.

Just like what @Jynx said, I think it's a great idea. Make something up that works for you, and those supporting you.

It has to be a working document that works for you. Combine the triggers, risk, safety, contacts, as well as some of the more proactive approaches to keep you from getting triggered in the first place.

@outlander - all the best with the remainder of your shift. Hope it goes well for you. I'm sorry to hear you are in significant pain. Is that pain from the injury you sustained in the past?

hey @Jynx

well i was looking at it and while i do have both a safety plan and a wellness plan i find ive only put on the safety plan the immediate things i need to do to keep myself safe like removing certain objects or specific distraction techniques that have proven helpful. im needing something more that a support worker can use though so id like to include the diagnoses and in that ill also have a section that has other diagnoses specifically pain as i find it correlates. so diagnoses, my triggers, some signs that maybe im needing some more support and also the signs that im really in trouble and maybe not be able to express it in words or maybe i cant recognise within myself that im in trouble (ie overworking and avoiding home to the point ill sleep in my car just to avoid going home-done this several times) as that usually means im really struggling with my demons and im not regulating myself at all.
im also putting in like a what coping strategies they can suggest i use if i havent thought of them myself or not currently doing as well as more longer term supports so seeing the psychologist fortnightly, seeing my gp once a month (if required for a check in but usually i need repeat scripts etc anyway within that time) and also trying to get a support worker on board once a month as my psychologist has suggested.

she has been teaching me some things like for most people that might be struggling they show signs such as struggling to get out of bed, unable to go to work, no motivation to do anything whereas while that is a danger sign for me mine is actually the opposite. many people cant see i have issues because my life is always busy with something going on. my psychologist explained to me that its harder for people to pick up on my illnesses because my success masks the symptoms however i recently discovered its one of my biggest warning signs that im heading to a breakdown. my brain tries to cope by keeping busy but there is a level of busy that is excessive such as constantly working and constantly adding in responsibilities (often subconsciously but my brain is going yes do it itll make you cope way less faster). its also usually when my self harm comes around because im abit in the cycle of adding so much pressure i cant stop and the only release im getting from my emotions is to self harm and then i feel bad and then i add more responsibilities. im sort of one of those people where i can be struggling so much and people wont see it until i colapse which has happened in the past and it come a shock to everyone because i appeared normal. but in fact it was because my usual cries for help were pushed away and so my brain learnt to cope by shoving on responsibilities till i break down.
im already doing this and my psych has picked up on that so we are working on that together to try and reduce that. she has suggested a back up plan meaning have a look into private psych hospital that my insurance would cover as a wellness opportunity rather then waiting for a breakdown if it continues to get worse.

i also spoke to my psychologist because im so independent normally and im quite capable of looking after several clients constantly however its like my brain doesnt know how to deal with itself. my psychologist said it would be good to make up some safe activities and hire a support worker or use a friend if avaliable to do some of these safe activities so i can learn to self regulate. shes trying to get me to find 'quiet' activities like i can have the tv on or music but because im always so busy she wants me to use my support time when i can afford it to help slow down and get the support worker to help me to use some of my quiet actitivies and work through my anxiety that will appear because i feel like im not doing anything

so the aim of this self made plan will be to identify my warning signs, what i can do to help myself, what supports i have and how they can help me and also safe activities

i have no idea if that makes any senses haha.

@tyme @hanami

@outlander it does make sense! It really resonates too - I think you've nailed it with the idea that sometimes being very busy and smashing out all these tasks and goals can be more a sign of being unwell. So many probably experience this and don't recognise it/don't seem to be struggling in the eyes of others. A close friend of mine also struggles with the idea that resting = not doing enough; he gets overwhelmed with guilt from it, which I imagine is similar to your experience?

I think it's a biproduct of our current social context, this idea that to be valid and worthwhile to society, we need to be constantly productive. It can definitely take time and effort to move away from the 'hustle' mindset as I sometimes call it.

I saw this a little while ago and think it's soooo important to remember: