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Something’s not right

not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor

not coping

im not coping

i cant handle all of these things

besides my mental health deteriorating so dramatically, and my physicall health floating up the creek

and now within the past few hours

my great grandmother now is in a nursing home and they dont know how long she has left and to make thigns worse i think i have to put my beleoved horse down.

we just had vets out and spend the last 4 hours trying to save my horse. its been 2 hours and went back to check on her and its not looking good.

not good at all 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞

i dont know what to do or how to feel, im a complete mess 😞

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In response to: not coping

fluffylightSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

Ah.. those days where you're at disconnect from the world. I have those days. @outlander

Tell me about the crumble and chaos if you like 🙂

Hoping work is gentle for you

fluffylight x

In response to: not coping

Captain24Senior Contributor

Re: not coping

Oh… @outlander..Im thinking of you. Hopefully work can be a distraction.

In response to: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

@Snowie I was suppose to see my psych next week but I had to change it to the week after because no one around to look after pop while I’m out. So I don’t see her for a fortnight now.

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

@fluffylight Everyone around me expects something from me but when I need help no one’s around. I’m expected to cope on my own. The friends I have don’t make contact with me unless they need something or want to rant. I hardly get msgs unless I msg first. The whole world feels isolating. I don’t speak to anyone except when I have to or there’s a need ie work or appts etc stuff like that but other wise I’m at home or the horses and it’s only me expected to do everything or I have to ask for help not offered help.

It’s a lonely world to be in. I had a total meltdown last night I have no been that bad for quite a while. Crying over nothing and everything, not able to sleep, full of nervous energy but in so much physical pain unable to move, so many worries and struggles that I can’t really talk to anyone about. I don’t know what to do with myself half the time now. I’m getting so irritaed

Thank you @Captain24 it’s ok here for short shifts at least

In response to: Re: not coping

SnowieSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

Thats a shame @outlander especially since it sounds like you really need to talk to her. Can you start writing things down that you need to discuss? I walked into my psych the other day with a long list.

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

I tend to just pick the one or 2 most prominent things as I only get 50 minutes @Snowie so whatever the most pressing matter it at the time is what I talk about

In response to: Re: not coping

SnowieSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

It's hard @outlander when we don't get a lot of time with our supports. I normally only get through a few things too. Feels like a lot of it is put on the backburner.

In response to: Re: not coping

fluffylightSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

This sounds really hard @outlander I'm sorry you are experiencing this.. I am sending so many hugs to the part of you that is struggling 💞

I know how this feels. Being a carer at home, I feel I neglect myself a lot and have to do all the caring for others. I see that this shows up in other parts of my life too, where it's rarely reciprocal care. It can be a lonely world to be in when you feel you have to carry it all on your own. I acknowledge that 💛

I want to remind you that you are in fact not alone. We can take some of the load of you, however support may look like for you.

I feel for your meltdown, it seems your body couldn't carry it alone anymore. Support is here to support you to navigate through this nervous energy, worries and struggles. You CAN talk about it here 💛

What would you like?

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

It is really hard @Snowie and it’s expensive but I get along with the new therapist so I will take that as a win to start with

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

Thanks for understanding @fluffylight

It’s hard being a carer. And I guess a good person. I feel I give a lot but not that reciprocated.

I can’t talk to much in detail here because of my circumstances for somethings. No many would be going through what I am at the exact same time so I have to be mindful for that too but I know the forums are here and I’m lucky to have people to talk to here
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