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Something’s not right

not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor

not coping

im not coping

i cant handle all of these things

besides my mental health deteriorating so dramatically, and my physicall health floating up the creek

and now within the past few hours

my great grandmother now is in a nursing home and they dont know how long she has left and to make thigns worse i think i have to put my beleoved horse down.

we just had vets out and spend the last 4 hours trying to save my horse. its been 2 hours and went back to check on her and its not looking good.

not good at all 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞

i dont know what to do or how to feel, im a complete mess 😞

18135 replies

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In response to: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

yes i find sitting in a room to much for me @Appleblossom i really like the idea of doing walking and talking or just sitting outside in a private area. i feel at ease in nature so i think that would be more benefical to me then being in a room

pop has support workers already, but it doesnt cover as much as id like it to but its better then nothing. hopefully when he can get another care plan next year he may be allocated some extra funding. i cant afford private care workers for him it would defeat the purpose of me working unfortunatly

In response to: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

thank you @Jynx i keep alot of my issues private offline. its hard for me and its never ended well including being put into mh hospitals in the past for trying to reach out for help so taking that step is hard for me. to be shut down or have a comment come out that relates to me being a support worker but needing support makes me feel more embarrassed. i feel like i can take everyone else to their appintments but i struggle to do mine if that makes sense.

no my sisters didnt shoulder any resposbibility. i mean the middle sister helps with our youngest sister but she wasnt pushed into it hers was more lets go have a sister girly day or come stay at my house this weekend sort of thing. i guess i also felt the need to protect them and take more of the burden so they could live a 'normal' life

In response to: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

thanks for the advice @Owlunar it is hard

i feel abit more fragile trying to recover from surgery which i guess isnt helping much either.

i dont have control over anything. i mean i pay the bills etc but my home life now is so awkward, i dont invite friends over, i dont even have anyone at the house now. i use to have people occassionally stop in and we would sit out the front but now i dont even do that. im more of a stranger in my own home. the family treat me like that too. when they come over they dont talk to me, they dont ask about me or anything like that but theyll talk to pop and the aunt and stuff like that and invite them out to dinner but never me. i really am the black sheep of the family

In response to: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

sometimes i feel like i need to take a couple of months off and be taken care of. i dont really know what that would look like or what that would mean but sometimes i feel like thats what i need @Jynx

In response to: not coping

BunniekinsSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

@outlander thank you for including pea in this conversation. i think you know what i am going to say ... fly sweetheart. get those wings of yours flapping and get your own place and be happy. you dont owe anyone anything. it is about time that you looked after yourself and your needs. am here for you always xxx

In response to: Re: not coping

SnowieSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

Hi @Bunniekins it is so good to see you hon, feels like we haven't spoken for ages.

@outlander I know these thoughts have been happening for a long time. I also know that the person has been living free. Why would they do anything when they have the best of both worlds. Not paying rent and can do anything they want.

I agree with grrenpea to an extent, fly free. You have done so much without any thanks in return. You owe no one nothing.

But (and a big but!) I know how hard it is to fly that nest. You have so much responsibility on you as a young person. I know you care about your Pop and your family. I don't think your family realises just how much you do and how much of your own life you are giving up. Maybe you going away for awhile might let them see that with open eyes.

You are the sensible one, the one they can rely on, the one that is always around.

You are young, you deserve to do all those things and conquer the world. You also deserve to put yourself first, for both your physical and mental health.

I hope this helps and just doesn't make you more confused hon.

In response to: Re: not coping

BunniekinsSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

@Snowie Snowie you and @outlander will always be up there with my favs. we have a history. i remember when i first came online and you were there welcoming me at some ungodly hour . remember all those years ago when i told you about my escapades at 3am around the gangster areas where i live. my meds are working well now with the occasional delusion creeping in. so good to see you. hope life is treating you kindly.xx

In response to: Re: not coping

SnowieSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

@Bunniekins that does feel like many years ago now. I think it works both ways however, you have helped me through some rough times. I always know I am going to get an honest answer from you. One of the things I love about you.

I am so happy to hear your meds are making a positive difference in your life.

In response to: not coping

Eve7Senior Contributor

Re: not coping

Good morning @outlander

I think you have received some very good advice from our wonderful friends here and there is not much I can add however, I think before moving it may be best to clear your debts. It will be much easier to go without debts and having some savings. Then the world will be your oyster.

I really admire your commitment to family but more than that your ability to educate yourself further and work in a tough profession while caring for pop is testament to your high achievements in life.

Maybe set yourself a timeline and start crossing off goals might help see your future turn around.

I believe in you my friend 🩵💜

Hey @Bunniekins 💚💚💚

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

thank you @Eve7 @Snowie @Bunniekins

sometimes my loyalty gets the better of me. i guess when ive shouldered alot of the responsibilities for such a long time its hard to see past that or a way out of that.

ill definently be clearing debts and agetting my savings together again properly. i was looking at houses last night and the prices seem reasonable but it would mean working 5 days a week. im ok to do that though if i dont have the other responsibilities or working 2 jobs. i just a place to be able to call my own and feel safe in and when i want friends over or even need medical care that i can access it and not have to leave the house because the people here are over bearing.


i guess i also dont really know my way around it either. like how do i go about saying that i want to move out. ive tried so many times in the past but guilt or worrying about everyone else has stopped me. i didnt have a steady job then either though but now i do with the option to move to other companies as well. ive worked hard to buy my car and almost finish paying it off at the dealership.

i dont really know what to say or when to say it. like do i come out and say it now and say hey probably next year im moving out or do i cause it by surprise. i have no idea and its so silly that i literally have to plan everything to make it work but at the same time i know its the reality of things

@Owlunar @Jynx @tyme @Shaz51 @Appleblossom

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

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