not coping

@outlander outlander if i were you i would wait until you have your savings in order. you will feel in a much place mentally to cope with any negative feedback you encounter. who was your close confidant here at sane besides @Snowie ..... @Sans911 ?? i think it was Snowie and Sans911 who i met on my first night... hey @Eve7 good to see you hoping life is kind to youx

@outlander

I agree with your decisions about finacial responsibility. It is essential and will mean when you do make the move you will be in a position. It is never easy, but worth simplifying your adulting, to doing what you need for you, rather than too much focus on the relational aspect. Also do not underestimate your family's understanding of the naturalness of you leaving home at some time. They have all done it themselves one way or another. People do that, they move out and move on, and over time also move back ... Dont overthink their positions. That is their job, and it is also natural for people to decline with age. We cannot avoid it. Sometimes it is better to let things take a natural course.

I had big sisterly responsibilities put too heavily on me, I never regretted learning what it takes to have a room and a bed of my own. Yes mother had me share a bed too much during my childhood. We cannot control everything though, at some point we need to dive in and swim ... or fly ... hugs ...

Hey @Bunniekins @Eve7 @Snowie @Owlunar

@Appleblossom hey Apple good to see you xxx

Hugs @Bunniekins and @outlander

Let your body recover from surgery a bit more. If it is car trips... do you have close beautiful places to go and just sit .... I am guessing you live in some pretty amazing country. Accept it as your necessary self care for the moment. Do what works for you. Build up your strength and savings ...

gp ... ha ... doc ... ha ha ... I have done the odd walk at odd hours .... lol

@Appleblossom i think walking at odd hours of the day is great as long as you change your route so that it is not a pattern for anyone with nasty ideas. i cant take long walks atm as i have lymphodema in my left leg which gives me grief hopefully new specialist will be able to help with that pesky ailment. did you know a couple of years ago i had sepsis, pnuemonia, anterial fribulation of the heart and a uti. i think i nearly died i was out of it for days. it has changed everything ....

@Bunniekins ooohhh gp

I knew you had very delicate physical stuff going on, but not exactly. I hope you really know we value you here on the forum and I am sure your kids do.

Hi @outlander

It's natural to move on to a more independent life and to live our lives as we choose. There is a need for us to make our own choices - and our own mistakes. It seems you have to recover from surgery - and otherwise - you are ready to make that big step forward - and be an adult.

You may feel like the family's black sheep - and they might treat you that way - but you are most definitely not that person. I remember you saying once that when you were a small child it was your job to make sure everyone else was okay - and really - that is not the job for a small child - and still - you seem to be more concerned about other people than yourself - this shows your concern for them -

Apart from Pop though - everyone else can care about themselves and you are not abandoning Pop either - you will still be watching for him - and oy - that daughter can do a bit - if there is any black sheep around - it might be her freeloading -

We are all for you here - you have done a great job filling in for someone who has never existed in your life - now it's time for you to prepare for your own life - and you are dealing with it very well.

And yes - this is a bit scary - but most of us have done it - and sometimes - more than once

Best of luck

Owlunar