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Something’s not right

not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor

not coping

im not coping

i cant handle all of these things

besides my mental health deteriorating so dramatically, and my physicall health floating up the creek

and now within the past few hours

my great grandmother now is in a nursing home and they dont know how long she has left and to make thigns worse i think i have to put my beleoved horse down.

we just had vets out and spend the last 4 hours trying to save my horse. its been 2 hours and went back to check on her and its not looking good.

not good at all 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞

i dont know what to do or how to feel, im a complete mess 😞

18135 replies

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In response to: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

thanks @Snowie @Appleblossom @Eve7

it just gets tiring that my life revolves around everyone else except things i want to do.

id like to be able to leave the house without having to answer to everyone as to where i am and what im doing. id like to be able to go to the horses without having to be rushed all the time
i dont want to be a carer for much longer everyone seems to be attached to me all the time.

i want to be able to plan a holiday and not need 6 months to arrange a carer and whatever else.

i want to move into my own place. im paying all the rent and other bills myself anyway.

In response to: Re: not coping

SnowieSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

@outlander 💕💕

In response to: Re: not coping

AppleblossomSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

@outlander

One of the great things I gained by living alone in my own flat is clarity. I knew what things cost and then I could also work out some of the costs of emotional ties and what might be fair. If your boundaries have not been respected it is very helpful. One of my choices that saved my life. Often I shared and there are all sorts of compromises with family and housemates, but for 2 separate years I lived on my own in my own flat. Sounds as if you are putting in all the money and work but others are controlling you. Not quite sure why that is. Are they not paying anything at all? That would not be right. All adults should pull their weight.

Take Care

Apple

In response to: Re: not coping

SnowieSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

@outlander 💌💌

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

@Snowie

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

thanks @Appleblossom

im aware of what things cost, life is super expensive these days 😞

my pop doesnt get much on the pension but it covers a weeks rent, power water and some groceries so they are the bare essentials but its not just us here its also someone who has been here nearly a year already who moved herself in uninvited and wont get a job, blames me for having a job so she cant get a job and hasnt paid a cent here since living here and then wonders why i get upset when she randomly says we need milk and bread or some other basic need but goes for these 4/5 hour 'walks'. why not use those walks to go find a job or use that as getting a job.

everytime i bring it up the family starts clashing and i dont have the head space for it. i think across the next year of 2 when ive paid off my bigger debts (like my car loan) i will start getting myself organised to move out if not sooner.

In response to: Re: not coping

tymeModerator

Re: not coping

Unfortunately, I've heard this happening quite a lot @outlander .

I'm so sorry to hear you find yourself in this situation where you want to do something about it, but the result of raising the issue is just too much to contend with right now.

Could you speak to the person in private yourself? (sorry, I'm not too sure of the current climate)

This situation just speaks to people's values....or lack of....

Hope things get better.

In response to: Re: not coping

AppleblossomSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

Rich or poor, nobody likes a free loader @outlander

Guilt tripping you about working is weird. Even if they are on some benefit they should contribute.

Guess you have sorted out that you can only focus on your own stuff. Car loan sounds like a good goal. I probably will be going into debt soon to replace my old bomb.

In response to: Re: not coping

SnowieSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

@outlander missing you lots hon, hoping things are going ok for you sweetie.

You are always in my thoughts 💜💜

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

@Snowie
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