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Something’s not right

not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor04 Aug 2017, 8:11 pm AEST

not coping

im not coping

i cant handle all of these things

besides my mental health deteriorating so dramatically, and my physicall health floating up the creek

and now within the past few hours

my great grandmother now is in a nursing home and they dont know how long she has left and to make thigns worse i think i have to put my beleoved horse down.

we just had vets out and spend the last 4 hours trying to save my horse. its been 2 hours and went back to check on her and its not looking good.

not good at all 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞

i dont know what to do or how to feel, im a complete mess 😞

18135 replies

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In response to: not coping

Codex1Senior Contributor25 Jan 2022, 1:19 am AEDT

Re: not coping

@outlander I used to be FiFi. And yep, hearing ya about the psychs. they're useless, I know. I'm still trying to find one myself.

In response to: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor25 Jan 2022, 1:22 am AEDT

Re: not coping

I know that i cant rely on anyone else to make me better or maybe heals a better word to use 🤔 but it doesnt seem like many know how to or really want to guide me. I feel like ive tried alot and that im psych shopping or something. I cant think of the term to use.... The new one i tried wasnt even for trauma, it was basically someone to talk to about the current issues and my anxiety like getting some more strategies in place for how else to cope but by the middle of session 3 she said to me that she will only stay as a support person because she is worried what will happen if i shut down away from professional supports again. I didnt really get into anything so if shes saying she cant help just with panic attacks im not to sure what to think. Im not sure what to do now. I dont really think i matter anyway, it seems to be getting clearer the last few days here and in unexpected ways of being shown it. The dog we own is even more important then me.

Lifes pretty confusing and tiring
@Sans911

In response to: not coping

Codex1Senior Contributor25 Jan 2022, 1:24 am AEDT

Re: not coping

Sorry if I accidentally post twice @outlander, but I can't find a post I tried to send a few minutes ago. Anyway, I used to be FiFi. And, I'm with you about psychologists. A good one is hard to find. I still haven't found one. I've concluded that psychs aren't all the rave they're made out to be.

In response to: Re: not coping

Codex1Senior Contributor25 Jan 2022, 1:29 am AEDT

Re: not coping

Yep @outlander. It seems to me anyway, so I could be wrong or not understanding something clearly enough, that psychologists mostly go for strategies to change behaviours and help with thinking patterns, without actually getting to the bottom of the issues causing those behavioural and thinking pattern changes, right? Sorry if this appears confusing. I can explain better if you need me to @outlander. For me, it's hard to change a behaviour or a thinking pattern when I can't get help to fix my issues causing these psychological problems. Issues which I can't disclose here. No one has been able to help me cope with my long-standing life circumstances. Anyway, I'll make another thread tomorrow to expound on a few things a bit more.

In response to: Re: not coping

moxiSenior Contributor25 Jan 2022, 1:31 am AEDT

Re: not coping

@outlander it's so hard going to someone new and opening up all over again only to be moved along. It sounds like you've been really giving it your all and feeling like you're getting nowhere 😞

It hurts me to see you say that you think you don't matter. You're such a kind, compassionate person, who has brought so much to the SANE community as I'm sure so many others will agree.

In response to: Re: not coping

Codex1Senior Contributor25 Jan 2022, 1:35 am AEDT

Re: not coping

@outlander well yes, of course you can't rely on other people to make yourself better, in that respect. But it's nice to have someone who can understand you as much as possible so they can support you properly without being judgy or harsh. Without knowing your situation properly, I'm only assuming that maybe when looking for a new psychologist, ask the clinic if they have ones specialising in trauma therapy before you become a member of that clinic?☺️ Mind you, it's hard to find a good health professional these days let alone a psychologist. I don't mean to be bossy or prying with my post, just thinking of ideas and wanting the best for you.

In response to: Re: not coping

Sans911Senior Contributor25 Jan 2022, 1:35 am AEDT

Re: not coping

I'm hearing you lil Sis @outlander. It is tiring and confusing. I do know from my own experience with pyschs that you need a certain level and time of stability before the healing can even begin. And that is hard for you. Instead of a pysch have you looked into maybe a social worker or counsellor? Just someone to offload to, so you're not carrying such huge loads on your shoulders.

Btw nothing wrong with changing professionals until you find the right fit. And also nothing wrong with using more than one service to help with several issues. I engaged with a counsellor after the big issues with my work late last year because I needed more help than what my pysch was offering. With this person, she is a little less qualified, but still helpful in many ways. We discuss more the workplace issues than other things.

You are so loyal to your family, and yet... I won't say more, but you know how I feel about your pop, family, etc. You aren't really respected or valued. And that would be so draining.

I hope soon, real soon, you make a break from your current life. I believe once you are independent and on your own, things will be better. I wish I could come in and sweep you away

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor25 Jan 2022, 1:38 am AEDT

Re: not coping

Oh yes i do remember you! @Codex1 its hard finding a psych. I tried 6 previously but none were a good match or also said they didnt know how to help even early on in my recovery. I had a break from it after that. I know professionals are also people and have their own limits but i dont know why its so hard to find someone. I often research the possible psychologist to find out what there particular interest is or if they have speciality training in certain areas in hopes they would suit but i guess im not very good at guessing either.

In response to: Re: not coping

Codex1Senior Contributor25 Jan 2022, 1:38 am AEDT

Re: not coping

@moxi, it's difficult for those of us who can't find a good psychologist. I've gone through about ten of them over 36 years.

In response to: Re: not coping

Codex1Senior Contributor25 Jan 2022, 1:47 am AEDT

Re: not coping

@outlander yeah, I get it!❤️💜 At least you're still trying to find a good mental health professional who works for you. The important thing is you haven't given up! So you can keep going with the strength you've got, I imagine. You'll eventually find the person for you. (Some days I think in a very extreme pesimistic fashion but of course I can't be optimistic every day). I try, but it just doesn't work. Anyway, in the meantime you could try online or phone counselling? It works differently for everyone of course. I just don't want to see you struggling like this, but I still understand from what I'm reading, that you're having it really tough at the moment.

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

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