not coping

I agree @outlander PS you are not silly at all, it's quite reasonable for you to be overwhelmed with other aspects of life at the moment.

Sorry @outlander was just on the phone to my Mum. Ask away.

Hey @outlander I don't really have an answer for you, but want to support you in exercising boundaries however you need to. When I was in my first several years as a single parent of a child with extreme medical needs and permanent disability I was probably a bit that way myself - felt guilty doing anything that was purely for my own benefit. Over time tho' I've learned that taking care of yourself makes you better able to care for others. Giving from an overflowing cup, not from an empty or half full cup - which will leave you more depleted and it becomes a viscious cycle. Need to go do dinner now. Take care xoxo

I don't often feel like that now @outlander Part of recognising and accepting self care is knowing (and believing) you are doing it for yourself because YOU need it. You should not feel guilty about looking after yourself and quite frankly your pop and siblings need to stop acting so selfishly. I know it is harder with your pop but the more you say no to your sisters the easier it will get. You cannot wrap them in cotton wool, do everything for them and put them above yourself. They need to realise that you are your own person and become less reliant on you. Your older sister has a job, a car and a life but still you feel like you need to look after her - she is old enough now to do that herself and needs to take on that responsibilty for herself. Your younger sister also needs to begin to find things that she can do on her own without your constant attention. She also needs to understand that not everything she wants she gets because life is just not like that - so saying no to her also will actually help her in the long run.

Doing all that will ineviatbly cause a few issues to begin with but setting those boundaries - and actually following through consistently with them - is so important ...and the guilt will lessen the more you stick to those boundaries. Many of us here have said this to you before Hon - you are not their mother and you should not be feeling guilty about being your own person, doing things you want to do and pursuing things that you like or interest you. Time maybe to let go of those reigns you have around your family and think of your own happiness and future.

When you have had a long history of being ignored, put down or 'used' then it is quite natural that you would not want to share anything (good or not so good) with anyone @outlander It is a long held view of yourself that has been learned over time because of those interactions and your knowledge of what the results usually are. That takes a long time to turn around so give yourself time. Those drives or outings for yourself will feel less and less guilty for you as those boundaries increase and you gain some independence yourself from your famiy. In effect you have been your sister's mother figure for a very long time so you would also be feeling like part of you is missing when they are not around. Although we tell you that you are not their mother and that she has to do more - that does not take away those protective feelings you have and the guilt of doing things for yourself would be there because you are so used to not being able to be on your own and do things just for yourself. That will come the more you do do things for just you and feel a greater sense of who you are and your own self-worth.

Yes exactly @outlander 👍

You have been so entrenched in that role for so long that you have never had the opportunity to just be You - find yourself, follow your passions, explore your interests or even find your own place in this world. So much of what we learn as children and in our teenage years help develop our own self-worth so for you that has been kind of 'paused' because you have not had the same opportunities to be yourself. You have so many positive attributes and despite many of them coming from your 'mother' role for so long it has not allowed you to be your own person. That is something that will take time to find for yourself but it seems you have started doing that in a lot of ways. As for that guilt - that will change but it will be baby steps.