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Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor02 Aug 2017, 7:01 pm AEST

Coming to terms with reality

Hi Readers, i am suffering from "mental health issues" and it is an ongoing, daily battle. I am pretty much constantly wrestling with the thoughts going on in my mind. And my psychical life seems too be suffering for it. (There is a huge difference between physical and mental ) something is definitely not right! So each day I'm waking up and going about my routine. And over the last few days, weeks and months. I have been noticing changes in my mentality toward myself, others and life. And some questions such as, what is my life about? And what should my objectives be? Have arisen... of course like we all are, I'm subject too making decisions... and there has been the same options in front of me time and time again for months on end. And it becomes rather draining and mundane. And i feel myself going around in circles like something simple just ain't connecting.

I enjoy writing, art, music. And peace of mind... walking, reading, meditation. Taking care of myself. Socialising. Etcetera. Getting ahead, getting in front. Planning, dreaming and so on. And do my best to look after myself. While accepting that it can only ever be so much.

But there just something not quite right. And I'm suffering for it on a daily basis. And I'm tired and fed up with going through the same stuff everyday. And in all honesty. Alot of my suffering comes from prospective and thought processes.

Does anyone wanna talk with me about some things that might help? In particular dealing with people no matter who they are. Can be very stressful and cause lots of procrastinating about pros and cons. In particularly people who i think about reaching out to for support. Because of dilemmas dramas and social dynamics. And picking up on things that "aint really happening" "gut feelings type of stuff " "intuition" that type of thing. And enjoying time with people is great! I just tend to be overly preoccupied with symptoms to be worried about socialising sometimes "Symptoms which involves others"

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In response to: Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor04 Mar 2018, 10:50 am AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

@Friendconnect

I'm caught in a dual state of mind most of the time... Should I? Shouldn't I? Reasons why? Reasons whyr not? The right way? The wrong way? How to attain happiness? How to rid myself of suffering?

So I try to work it out in my mind. And, I become a sufferer of duality... I develop a split mind... And in amongst it... I'm looking for what I need in other people to feel comfortable, at peace an environment where I can just be myself. Where I'm accepted, understood and valued.

Eude.

In response to: Re: Coming to terms with reality

Unknown userMember04 Mar 2018, 11:52 am AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

hello @eudemonism

spotted you over here..

for me it has taken many years of my life....various stages of my suffering with different levels of my illness and many hours of analysing.....reading...researching...

observing myself....being empathic towards others has helped me realise finally that I can do that to myself first...

I have read over the words of love and compassion that I have written to others and realised I can apply them to myself..

as I tell others we are all unique human beings of this universe and beyond...

yes I am...yes you are....we all have rights...yes I do...yes you do...

we all can learn to love ourselves..yes I can..yes you can..

we can all learn to leave the past behind..has happened cannot be changed...

we can learn to live in the now....not the future..the future is never here...we are always in the now..

we can learn how we choose to deal with our past trauma when memories resurge or if we experience triggers...

we can learn that we will not let them overpower us again...they did that at the time...

we can learn that we choose to accept what has gone before us...accept that the feelings of anger. hurt..pain ...fear are real....we will not let them overwhelm us now...we can ground ourselves by ringing lifeline or another helpline....we can be open and honest during our discussion and respect the listener on the other end...they are usually volunteers who have had their own experiences or those of a loved one...

every day as I am doing today...fighting back the urge to go back to bed and bawl my eyes out...

yes I need to let the tears come..I need to accept that there is much trauma resurfacing...I will be gentle with myself though and hold that until I can talk to a professional...my psychotherapist...

you have a strong sense of what is going on in your mind Eude...you are able to articulate the different types of trauma...delusions...

you have come a long way in your healing...so please do not give up now...

you say you are looking to find what you need in others...you will not find it there..

look inside yourself past the delusions...look to the Eude who loves and cherishes ..has dreams about his garden..

look to the Eude who is communicating so well with far more people on here now than seven months ago...

look to the Eude who despite suffering from side effects of medication has been writing to me and supporting me...

what you are searching for is within yourself...the comfort and peace..environment where you can just be yourself is in you...when you stop looking outside and look inwards...build on your self love you will be just yourself...you will be way ahead of so many in this world..

this is where I believe @Friendconnect wants to lead you....in his own unique style also..

we are here supporting you while you take that inner journey...

never letting go Eude

your friend Moh

In response to: Re: Coming to terms with reality

Unknown userMember04 Mar 2018, 11:57 am AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

hello @Friendconnect

I love reading your posts...your insights...

I love the connection that you have formed with Eude...

please keep on writing...

know also that you are helping those on the forums in need now...

there will be others to follow who will gain comfort and reassurance from your words @eudemonism also

sorry that I cannot respond more to you friend...am just managing to spread myself between a few threads for now...I know that you will understand this

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

FriendconnectSenior Contributor04 Mar 2018, 1:21 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

Hi @eudemonism... you're no doubt a damn good writer so as to be able to express your thoughts and feelings so well.

Trust me this dillema you're having is not illness, it's your evolution to be able to handle all the different perspectives all at the same time and still trying not to be unjust to anyone or anything.

As you keep analysing your thoughts you would see why this conflict arises. We were born with our feelings that were supposed to lead us to our path... path where everything authentic comes across... be it people/job. But the key to that path is the knowing exactly what you want and got for it in an unapologetic and fearless way bcos that path never intends to just anyone so never leads to anger/guilt/regret all negative emotions. That's where you've left the happy Eude few years back.

So what goes wrong? When we feed our mind with all the worldly knowledge as to all the things you need to attain before you can be happy or call yourself a success. This path suppresses our original state where happiness was effortless and as we walk along this path... Fear/guilt and anger never seem to leave us.

So, the fight or duality inside is between these two voices. First one is from your heart and the second one from your mind.
As an example... with your writing stuff you might feel a joyful state about being able to publish a book and that might be perfect path to happiness.
I know just beating this feeling comes a parade of thoughts... but I've never done it.. I am not good enough no one will read my work...and all the labels that stick along.

This is not the case just with you... the key is to beat these trailing thoughts and identifying the authentic ones.these are easily identifiable... The authentic ones would seem to empower you... make you burst with energy to propel forward despite the side effects of the injection.

The ones generated from mind... just fake ideas from society would make you weaker and unable to move forward with anything. These survive on fear.
The moment you make your decide to listen to your heart and use the power to actions... the fears will eventually diminish and you'll feel free and happy perpetually.

It's a practice you need to follow through out life but becomes much easier once you get a handle.

No one else is our enemy but ourselves(I mean negative thoughts) we just need to get out of our own way to happiness.

Know that you're never alone.... you'll get there.
Happy Sunday❤️

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor04 Mar 2018, 4:35 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

@Friendconnect I agree and disagree with what you're saying... At the same time... Same with what @Former-Member is saying...

Are you a male or female @Friendconnect

It's hard to take in everything that is being written... It's hard to know what to apply to my life and when to apply it... So many different opinions, suggestions and advice...

Number one goal! Minimise, eliminate or have minimal to zero suffering in my life... Consider... We're social creatures and a large percentage of all happiness and suffering comes from other people or is involved with other people. Would you say that is true?... I understand that we need to be individuals, take responsibility for our actions and carry our own burdens... But basically, too much isolation, solitude and loneliness will make life very difficult! And possibly even destroy us... I respect, consider an have regard for the fact, that ideally... We look after ourselves, take care of ourselves and do our best do provide ourselves with our own needs... But at some point or another... Other people become involved... (we become reliant, dependant and attached) Many other people actually... And then social skills come into the equation... Standards, morals and etiquette... What do you both think?

There's only so long I can do nothing... And only so much I can do... In one day... So I'm trying to get the balance right for myself... And trusting in other people to help sort this stuff out... Is vein!

All mental Illnesses... Involve other people... They are the cause, and they are the cure...

Eude.

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor05 Mar 2018, 5:35 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

Hi @Friendconnect what I've taken from your writing is... Take time to meditate on positive stuff... Positive words... Positive analogies... Theories, philosophies, literature and scripture. Is that kind of right? Loose sense and attachment to all the problematic, burdensome and troubleshooting we all go through. And regain my peace of mind. And inner peace within my body... For myself... It is about focusing my mental energy on scripture... Even if it's for ten or fifteen minutes. Or better yet. A half hour. Or practise compassion, empathy, and such things. Or put the correct thinking cap on. Which is best suited for what I'm dealing with, (in the moment) or past, present or future tense... Or for coming out of a frame of mind, or for being in a frame of mind, or preparing to go into a frame of mind... Does that make sense? In turn, getting the best results for me, myself and I... And on the contrary, it also being a good result for all others I'm involved with... Eude... Fear is a nasty thing...

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor05 Mar 2018, 5:38 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

Some days... Everything under the sun... Tries to rob me of my peace...

I have to engage with this stuff at some point or another... Face my fears... Exposure therapy... Take charge...

It's just that it can be overwhelming at times... And really stress me out...

In response to: Re: Coming to terms with reality

Unknown userMember05 Mar 2018, 6:33 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

Hello @eudemonism

Is it ok if I just sit over here with you for a short while..

no energy for words..

no energy for tears..

just immense heartache..

I will sit here silently..

just go about what you need to do..I won,t get in your way

no need to respond unless you feel uncomfortable with me just sitting and not talking..

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

FriendconnectSenior Contributor05 Mar 2018, 8:55 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

Hi @eudemonism,
First of all sorry for not replying for so long. I did even start typing but had a few things going on here.
However, I did have you on back of my mind through out.

If these details help... I am a female... Mum of 9 yr old boy and married since ages... so long that I tend to feel almost as single now:)

So yes, to your disagreements.. perfectly fine to disagree and have di view points. You just need to be able to act as per your liking at the end of the day. We all are different and everyone has a different life and experiences so unique that we should cherish not agreeing to people as much as agreeing.
We can start taking people as being different and not judge them for their decision and apply same to ourselves... not judging and feeling bad about our own thinking and decisions.
Infact a perfect state is when you agree to disagree and both parties are happy.

I would try not to be too descriptive... in order to avoid a headache for you:)

I'll just say avoid overthinking... don't be afraid of failure... and go about doing whatever you feel like doing. There is nothing right or wrong... as long as you are not harming as in hitting others. No need to feel bad about wanting to do something.. go for it. Imagine there is a small child inside you... and you'd need to provide for whatever he feels like. Do we ever judge a child for wanting to play.. wanting to draw or eat ice cream and do odd stuff at odd hours. Just pamper yourself with whatever is in your capacity.

Take rest as much as you want and do what you really like doing. Sometimes taking small actions can reveal our potential...
If you want to collate your writings in final form and act on getting them published in a book in your name. You can possibly find a new way of life. With any second thoughts about what the result is going to be...just get a small book published because you're following your heart...you'll never fail.

Have peaceful sleep and blisy morning ahead...

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor06 Mar 2018, 1:48 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

@Friendconnect I've had a few girlfriends and it's good. But I'm leaning towards liking the single life more these days... With side effects considered. And potential problems. I'm going to be real cautious with the next lady I get involved with... It's easy for me to slip into this. Frame of mind. Where. I Start thinking... About woman... But it's just not necessary or healthy. I think a twelve month preparation period is the way to go... Eude.

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