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Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor02 Aug 2017, 7:01 pm AEST

Coming to terms with reality

Hi Readers, i am suffering from "mental health issues" and it is an ongoing, daily battle. I am pretty much constantly wrestling with the thoughts going on in my mind. And my psychical life seems too be suffering for it. (There is a huge difference between physical and mental ) something is definitely not right! So each day I'm waking up and going about my routine. And over the last few days, weeks and months. I have been noticing changes in my mentality toward myself, others and life. And some questions such as, what is my life about? And what should my objectives be? Have arisen... of course like we all are, I'm subject too making decisions... and there has been the same options in front of me time and time again for months on end. And it becomes rather draining and mundane. And i feel myself going around in circles like something simple just ain't connecting.

I enjoy writing, art, music. And peace of mind... walking, reading, meditation. Taking care of myself. Socialising. Etcetera. Getting ahead, getting in front. Planning, dreaming and so on. And do my best to look after myself. While accepting that it can only ever be so much.

But there just something not quite right. And I'm suffering for it on a daily basis. And I'm tired and fed up with going through the same stuff everyday. And in all honesty. Alot of my suffering comes from prospective and thought processes.

Does anyone wanna talk with me about some things that might help? In particular dealing with people no matter who they are. Can be very stressful and cause lots of procrastinating about pros and cons. In particularly people who i think about reaching out to for support. Because of dilemmas dramas and social dynamics. And picking up on things that "aint really happening" "gut feelings type of stuff " "intuition" that type of thing. And enjoying time with people is great! I just tend to be overly preoccupied with symptoms to be worried about socialising sometimes "Symptoms which involves others"

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In response to: Coming to terms with reality

Shaz51Senior Contributor13 Feb 2018, 8:27 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

@eudemonism, how was your day today

do you have panic attacks

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor13 Feb 2018, 9:56 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

@Shaz51 I have them once and a while. I mainly get manic or depressed. It's hard to get a good balance between the two. And as for getting on with life... Well, that's where all my problems have started and will end. Eude.

In response to: Re: Coming to terms with reality

Unknown userMember13 Feb 2018, 10:45 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

Hello @eudemonism @Shaz51

eude some of your time has gone quite well is a positive answer ..as in it has not been all negative as those messages in your head tell you some days....

I have not experienced it myself but have read that for some people the voices can be frightening...that would make life so much harder when that is happening..

if this is the case that makes you even braver than you realise...we get to see a grounded eude who is keen to get stuck into his garden...a plan already thought out..growing healthy foods...that is positive my friend too..

sometimes we don't see the wood for the trees..

your life is already changing for the better on some days which is far better than no days..

keep on talking to us on the forums..we like to help one another ..self care garden..some interesting ideas on there today..some funny creatures too

catch you over on that thread..

@Shaz51

very difficult for you growing up with verbal abuse..my older son endured that from his dad..I tried to stop it so many times..Separated and now divorced and remarried..

you have much courage and are a great support to mr Shaz..

going over to look at self care garden

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor15 Feb 2018, 6:15 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

Hi @Former-Member I'm hoping and preying that you find the positives out of your situation. And really focus on those things. Whatever they are? And are not overwhelmed and rundown bye the negatives? My prolactin levels are through the roof. And my testosterone levels. Are below average. And it's a direct result of the medication. And it's the main reason I'm considered as well managed and well bye the system. It really Infuriates me actually. Because it means, I basically loose my manhood. Loose my sex drive. Have sexual dysfunction disorder. Grow breasts. Gain copious amounts of weight. Back down from all tic for tats of the mental and physical world. Loss of muscle. Loss of motivation. Loss of drive. Loss of self esteem. And don't pose a threat to anybody. Because I'm being pumped full of female hormones. It's devastating. Then I'm left to deal with people from the system. It's a joke hey. And it results in many other negative habits forming in my life. Which nobody from the health system side of the story cares about. And simply deal with it bye. Handballing basic text book answers back onto my shoulders. Which the medication. Disables me from properly doing for myself. Someone who tickles your ears. Will just as quickly turn around and twist your ears. Someone who tickles your ears. Tickles them because they approve of your actions. And someone approves of your actions. Because it supports their cause in life. Supports their wellbeing. Their health and happiness. Which is all about them. Then when the tables turn. It quickly becomes a case of twisting the ears. And turning you into the bad person. I hope you understand? My enemies are probably rubbing their hands together. Everybody who has ever done me wrong. Or neglected my rights and their responsibilities for me. Which lead to bad things. Anybody who seen me as a threat. Anybody who felt jealous of me. Anybody who blamed me for something. They are all probably rubbing their hands together. And feeling sorry for me. And pitying me. And looking down on me. And thinking. He's messed up. We don't have to worry about him no more. So essentially. The mental health system. Are my enemy. When you blame someone for something going wrong. Something which caused you suffering. It gives them a sense of cheer and success. Because the enemy within them. Like the enemy within everybody. Sees it as a success. And sees it as leverage. And advantage. For the end of game results. And the systems feeds off of this. Big time. They live bye the sword. And they will die bye the sword. And they leave their opponents. No other option. But too forgive and prey for them. And then they always resort to the old testament game play and they do very well out of it. They get their strength. Control and power over the population. It will make them want to get you back. And it gives the perpetrators a rush. A kick of testosterone. And a sense of power and control. The truth bye eude

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor15 Feb 2018, 6:22 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

@Former-Member I'm asking Jesus to take care of my mental problems with people from now on. Is that right or wrong? And I think about the value behind it! And it's a case of these people. Whomever they maybe. Doing the wrong thing toward me. And needing the forgiveness of Jesus. And it would happen with anybody whom I'm around. And these wrong things. Are based on the universal and one size fits all grading. Of rights and wrongs. Between humans. Otherwise, I'd be (trying to be) squaring things up. And I'd be making the scoreboard even. Or at least trying to. And the normal. Natural. And Instinctive me. Who wasn't on medication. Would be! Making it happen! Does that make sense?

In response to: Re: Coming to terms with reality

Unknown userMember15 Feb 2018, 10:44 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

Hello @eudemonism

thank you for caring about how I am feeling..

sending me hope and positive thinking..

I can read in your words that you are struggling...I cannot begin to imagine how difficult these times are for you..

I read on the writing thread that you had your depot injection...I remember you telling me before how that messes you up so much..

side effects from many mental illness medications increase people's weight...

the othervside effects that you describe would be very hard to deal with also..

I can only let you know that I will not be a person who mistreats you or causes you any harm..

For as long as I am able to come online I will be here for you. Supporting you...ready to listen...You mention Jesus... Having a faith can be very comforting for you...attending a place of worship..praying alongside of others is helpful for some people..

there is no right or wrong...your beliefs will help you...use them to pray for guidance and acceptance..love and peace...a time to think of the good in your life..leave the thoughts of all of those who have done you harm behind when praying..

I know that these days after the injection are the hardest for you...

I will hold you in my thoughts and say a prayer for you..

you have somewhere to come to now...a place to share only what you want to..

Please be kind to yourself and recognise the goodness inside yourself..

ride out the storms because there is genuine friendship here waiting for you..

in my thoughts eude

In response to: Re: Coming to terms with reality

Unknown userMember17 Feb 2018, 10:57 am AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

good morning @eudemonism

what plans do you have for today?

nice weather here...,will be watering pot plants...

have a walk around the garden as well...

how about yourself?

thinking of you

your friend mohill

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor17 Feb 2018, 12:12 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

@Former-Member I've had breakfast with friends. And caught up with a mate for coffee. Plus visited another guy. Did a talk at the breakfast about my life. And was thinking I'll probably sweep. Vacume. Tidy and clean. Catch up with someone and go for arvo walk with dog. Am feeling fatigued though. Eude.

In response to: Re: Coming to terms with reality

Unknown userMember17 Feb 2018, 1:01 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

hello @eudemonism

thanks for replying....

breakfast with friends sounds wonderful....a great way to start the day...

I enjoy eating breakfast out too...although usually husband and I end up eating mid morning...known as brunch to some people...

husband likes the full cooked breakfast...

too large a meal for me and sits heavily in my stomach all day..

I like the crunchy granola with yoghurt and fresh berries...still very filling...but a treat for me every now and again..

if you feel tired leave the house cleaning...that will still be there tomorrow...just soak the dishes wipe the table counter tops then enough for today.

try to make it out for walk with dog....even though you feel fatigued...a gentle walk will give you some new energy and some positive hormones to lift your mood...plus you get to witness nature and spend time with your loving mister...

let me know how you get on later..

friend moh

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor17 Feb 2018, 1:04 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

@Former-Member It's very frustrating hey. My muscles are feeling stiff and aching because of the medication. And I'm very fatigued aswell. I really have to push myself into getting anything done. And because it's all repetitive stuff. It becomes mundane and I sometimes don't see the point of it anymore. Eude.

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